To Telemarketers

In case you've not seen or heard this, it is some funny ass shit. I'd love to do this and just might have to watch it several times, you know...get schooled.

46 comments:

Xmichra said...

THAT was brilliant!! hehehe....

Chris said...

I have that one already, but I love it, total classic.

Webmiztris said...

holy HELL, I wish I could improvise like that.... that telemarketer got schooled... lol!

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Xmichra, I loved it and would love to pull that one off. A true Classic!

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Chris, I'd seen it before too but it was good enough to listen to twice. Now, that dick video you've got, omg that's somethin else! WOW!

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Webmiztris, how many times, have we had calls where we wished we'd pulled that one off. Gotta love it, huh?

Chris said...

Always happy to oblige DB ;)

~Babsbitchin~ said...

Chris, that thing was huuuuuuuuuuge!

Chris said...

Just you wait Babs, loads more good stuff to come
:)

Vagina Dentata said...

I like saying:

"I would love to discuss your product in great length, but first I would like to talk about jesus. Have you let jesus into your heart?"

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Chris, you can't threaten me w/a good time, ya know!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

VD, I just spit coffee all over my flat screen. Damn that's funny as shit. That's even better. Love it!

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

‘Do you read the bible?’ asked the man at my door yesterday.

‘Do you want to fuck off?’ I replied.

He then began to read a passage of the bible to me, the wanker. I told him that it wasn’t a convenient time for him to try to alter my fundamental beliefs on my doorstep, and I asked for his address so I could call round to his house at a more convenient time for me. He wouldn’t tell me, and he was right not to.

I would have called round at 3 am and thrown a big stone through his window wrapped in a picture of the virgin mary sucking jesus’ cock. I don’t know where I would have obtained a picture like that, I might have had to draw one, but I am not a talented artist, but it doesn’t matter anyway because he wouldn’t tell me where he lived, the fucking cunt.

Oh, I almost forgot. As he was walking down the front steps I asked:

"Jesus was an anatomically correct male, right?
Do you think he masturbated?
And if so, how often?,
Did he use olive oil or myrrh? "

Poor cunt is going to have to go through years of christian psychotherapy to recover from that image!

Dirty Bitch Society said...

SR, you are sooooooooooooo bad, do you feel the flames, licking at your ass?

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

Flames?
I thought that was you?

Chris said...

DB, I never threaten, I just do it ;)

VD, when they call, I ask them if I can ask a few questions before they say anything, they always say yes, cue me 'Do you believe in god?', phone down, caller dealt with, but I find yours a lot more classy.

SR, If you really want those types of pictures, I know where they are.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

SR, well, I never, well, not today and I just brushed my teeth too.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, I just knew you'd represent, hahaha!

Chris said...

I like you DB, your just one seriously cool lady.

Vagina Dentata said...

I like you too DBS, but in my case it is because you are a fucking cunt!

Chris said...

VD LOLZ!!!!!

yes booze

yes drunk

yes your all cool as fuck

yes ;)

Vagina Dentata said...

I fucking loathe TxtSpk!
Use that cuntbutlery when conversing with me again and I'll cut off your phallus and after having stiffened it with a soaking in flour and water, shove up your arse. See how upset you have made me? I am loath to use the word loathe.
Thalidomide stump sucker!

mutleythedog said...

HoHoHo!!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, Cool as in frigid, as of late. I think I'm due to change that. I think this nunnery can kiss my lily white ass.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD Darling, you have me at a loss. What are you referring to? Now, whatever it is, it's not worth killing for. I have a list, if you need it.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Mutleythedog, Sweetheart, I have done everything I could, short of donkey sex to lure you here. Yes, I think someone's panties are more than thong at the moment but of course, I welcome anything that might make my nipples hard, for even a moment.

Chris said...

VD,

I am so sorry to have offended you. I have never before used LOLZ in all my days. I was being fuckoff lazy and I am sorry. Just had the fuckoff week from hell, I am quite drunk and am spending at least 15mins per post. I apologise sincerly.

Chris said...

DB, when I say I cool, I mean a top lady, interesting, funny, down to earth. just basically someone I would want to get to know. So here is my
bogus address

jadencicero@lycos.co.uk

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, so sweet of you and you're apology. I wqasn't sure where that was from or to whom. But I am soooooo guilty of writing, lol, it's a sin. I presume that some will just not tolerate a hack of the language. But guess what? I am getting hammered right along with ya. It's been one of the shittiest weeks, as of late and I hurt Like a bitch from my last altercation, that fucker. But, take down baby. it must hurt, for a man to be taken down by a woman, huh? Thanks for the email addy. Here's mine

mzbabsmre1@verizon.net

Chris said...

DB I really have had the wek from hell, if it could go wrong it did, know what I mean.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, fuck yea, Murphy's law. I have a bruised ankle and a tore up knee. All pretending to be Foxy Brown or some shit. can't say more or I get in trouble but jeeeeez do I know. My tail feathers were ripped out, that motherfucker. So, I am trying to pickle my liver, that'll teach 'em, huh? bastards. here's to you darlin, may we live long and kick ass.

Chris said...

DB, I have no doubt that you will live long and kick ass. And we will teach those bastards. So cheers to long living, kick ass, teaching bastards. In fact just cheers to you my dears. x

Vagina Dentata said...

Fine chris, apology accepted. Can I still stick something up your arse though? Your choice?

DBS and chris - get a fucking room!
And I mean for you to read the word 'fucking' as both an adjective and a verb in this context. Better make it quick because if Bilious sees you two fucking about, he's gonna be rather choleric.

I don't have an address, real or imagined. Condition of my parole you see.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, yes, here's to you and me, kickin ass and takin names. Now, pass that bottle ya bogart. C'mere, I wanna give ya a big smooch, just cause you're cute n all. Ya gotta watch out for us drunken ol women. We have a method to our madness. It could wreck you for life, ha!

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

I am hurt!
Nay devastated!
You are on parole VD?
So much for that pricey background check I had done on you.
I take it your not a Candy Striper either right?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, I am sleazy and easy, when I'm drunk. Now, don't act you've never been there. Don't talk self-righteous to me. I'm off Parole as of 2003, November to be exact so I can sleep with whomever I want to and you're just jealous. But I will take a look at it. I am feeling my oats, a bit tonight. Good thing, I'm at home and not at work. Some poor bastard would be getting a whole shabang of drunken fodder.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

SR, no she's not a candy stripper. She's Villainous VD,but I was a candy stripper for six months. Will I do?

Chris said...

VD!!! your on parole, now I have never heard that before, but your still funny as fuck (That means great in the old UK ;)

DB, I havn't got to watch out for older women, they have been the best things in my life. first kiss, first sexual encounter, first flatmate etc

In fact at 18, I was the only male working with 40 women and I worked with them for 4 years.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, if Chris agrees, can I watch? Just a question?

Chris said...

DB, if VD agrees, do you want to join in? X

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, no shame in my game, haha!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, watch it, she's wicked and will make you think.

brotherray said...

OH I just love that thing! That is a great one!

HAHAHA on VD and finding Jesus! And SR!! omg you two are so damn funny! I'll have to remember that.

I cussed a telemarketer out on the phone just a few days ago. I screamed bloody murder into the phone about the time she ended her first sentence (and I knew it was a telemarketer) "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING CALLING HERE, BITCH - HUH?? (she stopped talking but I could still hear background noise so I knew she was still there). I repeated (louder - much louder) "GODDAMMIT I SAID WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING CALLING HERE?". I heard nothing else. Background noise was gone.

Too bad Sprint doesn't have an option for annoying calls, like press Star 1 to electrocute caller. I think she thought I had that option.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Brotherray, now this is some funny shit;

"Too bad Sprint doesn't have an option for annoying calls, like press Star 1 to electrocute caller. I think she thought I had that option."

mike nub said...

I'm astounded at how awesome that really was...

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Mike Nub, it was classic, wasn't it? Welcome and stop again, ok?