Time is lost in some kinda warp for me right now. I went to Phoenix Arizona for like 1 1/2 weeks, which by the way, I do not recommend in the dead of summer. It was 115 degrees during the day. Holy Bat Shit was it hot! But WOW did I get a tan quick! Check out these tans lines baby!
But the whole trip was validated when I got to see my granddaughter, Kassandra. She just turned 10 going on 27. God she's beautiful and funny, (she gets that heinous sense of humor from me, of course) I also got to see my all time BFF/Sister, Rene', her two youngest, Addy and Ronnie and her new grandbaby. Rhianna, my niece is a bright eyed and bushy tailed little addition to our dysfunctional family.
I met Rene' way back in the late 80's. She was 8 months pregnant with Ronnie. Long story short, I'd stirred up a whole bees nest. A black kid had done some shit to my oldest son and I went over to confront the parents. Rene' and her family and mine were the only white family's in the projects. Long story shorter...I had my gun pulled, holding them off as they were threatening to fuck with my son who was trapped in the car out front. She saw me, gun drawn pointed at this whole crowd daring any one of them to go near my kid and she waddled down and asked me if I needed help. That took heart if you ask me. I asked her to call the cops. She called and they'd told her they'd already received 3 calls about a crazy white woman with a gun. That'd be me.
That wasn't the last time Rene' and I had each others back. All these years later, it'd be her I'd want to back me up in any given situation. They just don't make 'em like her anymore. Now, we're both Grandma's. Whoda thunk it?
We talked each other out of doing Crystal Meth, whilst together. See how we've matured? I mean this Grandma gig is some serious shit, ya know. I guess you're not supposed to do drugs once you get to the "Grandma" status? That's the rumor anyway but till I get the Memo and see it in Black & White they can kiss my lily white ass. Well, it's not exactly white now. Ever see a prune right before it's completely dried?
Sorry Darling...gone are the days of Grandma with a tight blue perm, MooMoo, stockings, pocketbook and Hushpuppy shoes. I ain't wearing no fucking rain bonnet either. I did figure out why Grandma's have all that red lipstick, you know way up over their lips. It has something to do with what number Margarita you're on. Yes, it is my own personal findings, it's in the math equation.
So, I'm back, a little crispy but just around the edges... (1990? Rene' and I or is it Rene' and me? Looking for our husbands...run motherfucker, run!)
Bullshit by DirtyBitchSociety at 9/13/2008 09:58:00 AM
Well kids, I'm off to too Flippin Hot Phoenix Arizona for a week or better. As if I'm not crisp enough...
Bullshit by DirtyBitchSociety at 8/21/2008 10:46:00 AM
Am I odd because I think it's retarded to go to a male strip joint with guys gyrating their junk in your face? It turns me off and I find I'd much rather go to watch women dance than men. Am I alone on this?
Me and my Peeps had fun last night, what'd you do?