George Carlin

One of my personal favorites...

101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes

By James A. on May 12th, 2007

George Carlin

The man who says “life is worth losing” turns 70 today. George would say that’s irony, not a coincidence. George Dennis Carlin was born May 12, 1937 in New York City and for the last 47 years he’s been doing stand-up comedy better than anyone else on the planet. In the process he’s pissed off a lot of people and accumulated some of funniest, and most controversial, quotes known to man. Even a list of 101 quotes is just scratching the surface. In no particular order here are his 101 best…
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!

Dr.Babz D.L. Method

This is truly informative stuff on the hidden punctuation that empowers you to tell people to fuck off. Now watch and get skooled. I wouldn't want you to spontaneously combust :)

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I wanted to expand on this, as I am all about Dr.Babz D.L :(Down Lo): Method of dealing. When we get angry and do not vent, we are the only ones to suffer, right? But we all know that there are times when you just can't do and say what needs to be said, right??? We'll say, for example, when pissed at your Boss...you just can't tell him he's a crack ho humper, huh?
Once you learn this method, along with this new punctuation method, you'll be good to go and may not go Postal, which by the way, the odds are that you'll do time, become Bubba's bitch or kill yourself. Now, pay attention as I want to save you from yourself.

The Dr.Babz D.L. Method is quite simple but a powerful and enchanting tool. I've been using it for years and it's worked for me, all along. Well, except that one time, I threatened to take my boss outside and rip his colostomy bag out and make a new hole where they'd sewn his asshole shut.

All you have to do, when confronted with a situation which merits tact or self-control, is to smile. As you are smiling at him/her, you think of all the things you'd like to do. If you have violent tendencies, as I so readily admit, you will think things, such as, "I will hit you so fucking hard, the G-Force will straighten out your nasty ass wrinkles," or "I will smack you so hard, your clothes will be out of style when you get back." Now, these are for the novice but you get the idea, right?

When you stand there with a big shit eatin' grin on your face but you are thinking, how you'd like to strip them naked and shove stuff up their ass or grab them by the throat and change that cocky look on their face, it is so empowering. Eventually, people will see a look in your eyes, that will scare the bejezus out of them. Now, if you have a smile on your face, they can never put two and two together, that you, are quite possibly, an insane and unstable mental patient.


This D.L. Method has worked for me for roughly 40 years. I began to incorporate this, when I was just a child, back in the day, when it was still allowed and acceptable, to beat the crap outa your kids. Eventually, I would start laughing uncontrollably when my Mother beat me. Of course, I was sent for counseling and they found that I was matricidal (true story) but I didn't want to kill her, I just wanted to shut her up.

This behavior would lay the groundwork for a lifetime of laughing at the most inappropriate times. I dissected the laughing and simply began to smile. When my husband was in my face and telling me that I was a worthless piece of shit whore, I would simply smile and think, "I'll show you worthless, you sack of shit, when I grab you by the throat, rip it out and hurt your feelings with it, when I shove it in your brown eye."

I had now perfected the Method and would go on to share it with the masses. I wasn't smiling on the outside, when I shot him but I was sure smiling on the inside. He never hit me again. Wonder why???:) :) :)

Now, the next time, you are in a pickle with your boss or the likes, you just smile and think... it's our little secret!


While we're on the subject of laughing at the oddest times, check out George Carlin; Even Rape Can Be Funny. That title alone with peek your interests, huh?