Good Ol' masturbation

I found this in my Archives,never published from Babs Bitchin...


Yes, I am rude, crude and socially unacceptable, so, don't bother trying to point it out for me. I'm well aware. But I am also famous for saying shit you think but don't have the balls to say. Yes, I was raised properly, I just don't choose to show decorum, ok?

I was told, many years ago, by someone who will remain anonymous to protect...the guilty, that the first time he masturbated, he was scared because he didn't know what to do with the sperm. He'd been told in sex ed that they were live and could get someone pregnant. He was afraid if he left it around or just in the trash, someone could get pregnant. He flushed it after careful consideration, after all, it would not get into his family, at least.
We think we know it all and are quite gullible at a young age (I still am at times) and I can remember having the most fucked up thoughts on the subject. I can also remember that my Stepmom had birth control tabs, in the round packets, in the hallway closet. I now know that they were probably those 7 pills you get for, "that time of the month." But I found them and thought I'd take one and be covered to go out and party on a Friday or Saturday night and I would not get pregnant. What a dumb ass I was, huh? But when I was a teen, the "Sexual Revolution" was upon us. Before that, we were told that masturbation could cause blindness, sterility and hairy palms, remember that, you old school john's?
I was given this compliment by someone, the other day. I think it's a compliment?
I jacked off, so much, thinking about you, I dehydrated myself