Good Ol' masturbation

I found this in my Archives,never published from Babs Bitchin...


Yes, I am rude, crude and socially unacceptable, so, don't bother trying to point it out for me. I'm well aware. But I am also famous for saying shit you think but don't have the balls to say. Yes, I was raised properly, I just don't choose to show decorum, ok?


I was told, many years ago, by someone who will remain anonymous to protect...the guilty, that the first time he masturbated, he was scared because he didn't know what to do with the sperm. He'd been told in sex ed that they were live and could get someone pregnant. He was afraid if he left it around or just in the trash, someone could get pregnant. He flushed it after careful consideration, after all, it would not get into his family, at least.
We think we know it all and are quite gullible at a young age (I still am at times) and I can remember having the most fucked up thoughts on the subject. I can also remember that my Stepmom had birth control tabs, in the round packets, in the hallway closet. I now know that they were probably those 7 pills you get for, "that time of the month." But I found them and thought I'd take one and be covered to go out and party on a Friday or Saturday night and I would not get pregnant. What a dumb ass I was, huh? But when I was a teen, the "Sexual Revolution" was upon us. Before that, we were told that masturbation could cause blindness, sterility and hairy palms, remember that, you old school john's?
I was given this compliment by someone, the other day. I think it's a compliment?
I jacked off, so much, thinking about you, I dehydrated myself



10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you're fantastic the way you are. Your post was so true though. I never learned a damn thing about real sex from anyone. I got pregnant at 15. I didn't associate sex and babies. And as far as masterbation goes, I didn't properly know how until I was in my 20s. Alas, all those wasted years. I still suppose I am a little repressed since I plan on leaving this comment anonymous.

brotherray said...

HAHAHA! I love it! HAHAHAHA!

Webmiztris said...

when I was little, I ate 1/2 a pack of birth control pills...lol i found them in my mom's purse and I guess I thought they were candy. ha!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Anonymous, thanks for the compliment, really. I am sorry it took you so long, so now you must make up for it. I would.
I thought I knew everything, hah! Don't be a stranger, ok?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Brotherray, I knew you'd relate. Hope all is well and you've calmed from the storm. been running all damn day.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Webmiztris, oh my, lil Pez, huh?

Jonathan said...

The first time I "played tug-o-war with the cyclops", I was petrified when I finally climaxed. I had been told that if I whacked off, sperm would come out, but I didn't believe it. When it DID transpire that way, I was scared. Of what, I'm not sure.

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Jonathan, isn't it funny, how we were? My friend said he was mortified and didn't know what to do with the sperm. He didn't want to hurt anything or carelessly leave it around for someone to get pregnant. Another old friend, said his first was after he had a wood from kissing a girl. He was on his bike and stopped in the bathroom of a Red barn restaurant and rubbed his first off. He said from then on...he loved that restaurant, hahaha!

archer said...

That is the highest compliment a man can give, next to which a diamond is nothing.

As to masturbation, the greatest single public service in modern TV history occurred on Weeds. This comments box doesn't do links, but if you Google "weeds masturbation" the Youtube clip comes up.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Archer, well, I was flattered, when most would be appalled but I never said I was right in the head, any of them, ha! I will check out the link, right now!