Gone Gone Gone Nuckin' Futs




Miz UV/Paula of the famous and posh, Ultrablog, had a post, well here it is;

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Short shameful confession.

I bought a $4.00 fruit bowl thingie so I wouldn't eat a Milky Way ... and then I had the Milky Way anyway.

// posted by Miz UV at 3:56 PM

Then, I commented;


DirtyBitchSociety said...

I would have told myself to "fuck off, I want that frigin candy bar, fuck you and your fruit, bitch." That's how I argue with myself. I am my own worst enemy.

Now, I realize this is nothing short of insanity and I have come to accept that I am not playing with a full deck, in fact, I think the cheese is sliding off my pizza. I argue with myself, every day, in every way. I have been known to tell myself, to fuck off, out loud and in public.

I've even been known to tell myself off and was caught knee deep in the bullshit, just the other day at work. I had fucked up some paperwork and had to completely redo it.
The paper was a confidential notation to our client. It had to be exact, where his money was going, the expense for extra staff on that night, even down to video footage costs. I screwed up and didn't put an integral part of the mission statement down, a huge chunk of expenditure. My boss walked in from the field and caught me, (I thought I was alone) growling under my breath,

"You stupid motherfucking whore. You just can't do anything right. Now, it's all wrong dunbass. I should slap the stupid off your face, ya dumb bitch..."

She said, "Who pissed in your Wheaties, today? I'd sure as hell not want to be them 'Just For Today'." The Just for Today, is an inside joke from AA/NA that we often throw at each other. Anyway, I asked her what the hell she was talking about and she pointed at me and asked who I was pissed off at? I smiled and told her myself for having to redo, type up, place in the envelope and so on, this frigin document.

So, I do realize, I'm like a monkey with a gun, you should wear a flak jacket cause the lights are out, she ain't home. It's even worse when I want something real bad but know I shouldn't have it. I have even slapped myself in the face, calling myself a stupid useless cunt and was caught doing that. I haven't been in a down and out fist fight for some time, altercations, a punch here, Bitchslap there, yes, but no, down n dirty fist fights, in about 6 years. But I have been known to slap the shit out of myself, when I am ready to fight. I think it pisses me off, even more and I become more vicious and crazy.

I don't know, really, why I do it or did it?
But it was after my comment on Miz UV's blog, that I really got to thinking, I really should be locked up, wearing pajamas and scuffling in my slippers, safe and sound, medicated with Thorazine. It's just an observation.

20 comments:

Eyebee said...

I am often catching myself calling myself a cupid stunt, or a filly bucking sastard, so don't worry about it.

It's when you rant at yourself, AND get a reply back that you're onto the next level or nuttiness!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Eyebee, see you are a good friend, lying to me like that, trying to comfort me in my insanity, lol!


I do answer myself...

Woogie said...

oh honey i do it to. mostly i say dumb bitch. cause i m telling i am a dumb bitch. Everyone calls me a dumb bitch and worse but i call mu self a dumb bith , they say no your not. now hat kinds shit is that?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, I wear that dumb bitch hat very well, myself. It's better to admit it, then nobody can talk about you behind your back, like it's a big secret, right?

Xmichra said...

okay. you can feel free to think that you are less insaine, because in case you forgot.. i am the human resources lady. And for a lady that is suppose to be all PC and know her shit.. i get looks all the time from accedentally mummbling things like "stupid shit.. what was that form for?" or "what a fuckwad". Things you are NOT suppose to be saying at all in my profession.

Amd don't even get me started on my house mannors...

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Xmichra, somehow, I believe you. I do think you are my long lost daughter, I told you that, right?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Xmichra, PS, when will you have a blog again? You are missed!

Webmiztris said...

lmao! at least now I know what to get you for Christmas....a straitjacket!

wait, you probably already have one.... ;)

Woogie said...

go check out my blog, dirty bitch..webmiz just finished it. thats where i say in mecico..check it out! she an awesome web miz..

brotherray said...

This was so damn funny - the post and and the comments. Shit for brains is my famous name-caller for meeself, "you stupid-ass shit for brains woman." The reason I think I use that term is because it's the one term that used to send me into "ready to kick yo ass" mode with the ex. He knew that everytime he called me shit for brains (not often) that the BIG BITCH was gonna come out in me and I'd be ready to go to his ass. I won one time - the last time!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

webmiztris, no I don't have one and it would kind if you could get me a really nice one, maybe black leather. That would look sharp with a nice leather skirt right?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

webmiztris, that is so sweet of you. What would I do w/o friends like you to make me feel cared for? lol!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, I'm gonna drive over right now.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, ps, Webmiztris is wicked on the web, huh? lol!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

brotherray, hell yea. I used to hate to be called a cunt and really hated dirty bitch. Now, it warms the cockles of my heart, fuckin right!

Just your average girl said...

It's okay to beat yourself up. What happens at fight club, stays at fight club.

~Babsbitchin~ said...

just your average girl, I like your thinking, oh yes!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

average girl, I think that just might be the theme of my next graphic, I live it!

Xmichra said...

hmm. well, i don't think i will resurect one in the name of X.. but you do have my phoenix right? i had to lock it (that sucks) but will maybe one day have another big bad blog. Right now, i like the take er easy road and the luring ;)

DirtyBitchSociety said...

xmichra, come back, come to the dark Side, we have popcorn and chips!

I understand!