Pearls of Wisdom Before Swine

One of my fav Dirty Bitch Society Generals, Webmiztris was concluding her post with the following exchange with her more than sexy hubby...

Oh yeah, and speaking of living under a rock, the other day I used the phrase "How do they rate?" when I noticed this huge house in town with a gigantic yard, while all the other houses in the area have, like no yard whatsoever, and Jason looked at me like I sprouted a second head. "How do they WHAT?", he says "How do they rake?" I said, "Rate. How do they rate?" He tells me he's never heard that phrase. Tell me people, did I make this one up in my head? Because I really don't think I did. LOL On the other hand, I'm not quite sure how they rake either because with a yard that big, I bet it takes FOREVER.


My Comment...

That's too funny. Yes, it's, "How do they rate?" I can't believe he's never heard that expression meaning how do they have it like that?

Do what I did, I started putting a dictionary in the bathroom, then each letter of the encyclopedia. They'd read it instead of the shampoo bottles or whatever. Why did I do that? Well, me and hubby had a huge ass fight because I told him about reading about a woman who'd been bludgeoned to death, just down the street. Whether it was fear or stupidity or because of, he finally asked me what the hell is, "Bludgeoned?" I explained that the dude beat the fuck outa her with a bat. He said, wtf, why couldn't you just say he beat the fuck outa her w/a bat? Of course, I said because bludgeoned summed it up. He called me a fucking show off and next thing ya know, we're duking it out. I ripped his thumb outa socket and broke his nose. He blacked my eye and broke my nose, there was blood everywhere. See, if I'd have thought of putting that fucking dictionary in the bathroom, long before, I'd not be cleaning up blood, huh?

Just had to share. I wasn't showing off but you couldn't tell Sonny that. I guess I payed attention in English class, where he payed attention in Math class cause he was always better at it. He was a Metal Fabricator, good enough to interpret CIA and the Quantico FBI Science Lab Blueprints.You had to be a certified (idiot) Welder which they constantly X-Rayed his work for flaws and there never was any. Yea, he built those buildings. I couldn't do that but do you think I ever mentioned this little tid bit of heroics to him? Do you think I ever mentioned that it impressed me? Fuck no! He can suck a fat man's fart!

12 comments:

Edd.D said...

hey Babz, how was your trip.x

AZCG said...

I used to read the dictionary all the time at work, when things got slow or if I was eating lunch at my desk I'd whip out Webster's and learn something new. Others would be just sitting with their feet up and when the senior partners would walk past me I'd look like I was working and everyone else would get a talking to about what if a client were to walk through the office and see everybody looking to laidback and lazy. Then when Christmas bonuses came around and I got more than the others they would say "How does she rate."

Webmiztris said...

ha! that playboy cover is awesome! how do I rate getting to be on the cover of Playboy anyway? ;)

Old Knudsen said...

How do they rape? they won't when I cut their knobs off.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Edd.d, Darling my trip was an A+, memorable and badly needed. How was yours? Of course, all your outings probably run together in memory,
Mr. Jetset, lol!
Mwah!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

AZCG,I caught that one, hahaha! See, you are a wise ass, I mean wise woman, hahaha!!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Webmiztris, ya got it like that, huh? Are ya feared to show it to hubby? He might think you're leading a double life, huh?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Old Knudsen, yes, I know. I think this may be yer mission in life, if you choose. This message will self-destruct in

5...4...3...2..

archer said...

You gotta have top security clearances to work on that military fabricated metal stuff. Is he licensed to, you know, like, off people and stuff? ;)

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Archer, yes it was security clearance required but he ain't gonna squash a grape at a fruit fight. He left that sordid affair for moi!

Edd.D said...

glad u had a fab time. Mine was fun too, over far too quickly to, but we jetset types dont let that bother us, we book the next. Now where did I put my credit card?x

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Edd.d, if I could simply be the fly on the wall...

Smarty pants but that's why I love ya!
Mwah!!!