Posterior Petulance

I lived a lie for more than 30 years. I grew up, in a home, where it was not polite to fart. "Nice girls don't do that." Guess what, I am purposely NOT in a relationship, so I can fart all I want and run the remote. This does cause an extra cost on batteries but I'm willing to live it. So...now I fart when I feel like it, yes, it's crude but it's my way of getting back, a protest, of years of being farted on, an anti-establishment rule breaker. No, nice girls don't fart but who ever said I was a nice girl?
I do keep my fits of funky air to myself, which is why I am anti-social too. For years, I held it, turning three shades of green. Hell, my ex heard me fart, only once in 20 years, he thought something was wrong with me. There was, but now I'm healed, the only question is, cause I'm kinda new to this; Are farts supposed to have lumps? Damn!