On the Edge

I would remove this post, except for all the nice comments. Let this be a testament to never drink and blog.

It's true, I started drinkin' at Happy Hour and now I'm surprised that I can even type, much less get the capital letters right, those bastards. It's been a rough day. Babz, just doesn't roll with the punches like she used to. It's fucked up to get old. I fart dust now, it's bad. I do not welcome the fight. I think before I jump. I'll have to shoot you before I let you whip my ass...sorry.

OK, here's the mystery...what do you think I do for a living? I guarantee you will not get it. OK nix fistane that.Vergessen Sie das. Sprechen Sie German? Ich arbeite Geheim-. Aber für wer? Getrunken liegt nie. believe it or not there is a place for women, we are just more expendable. Little do they know...the world don't go round, without us. Now, stick that in your fuckin' pipe and smoke it. I love a good mystery. Do not underestimate me, that is your first mistake. but why would you? Because I am a woman, huh? Ich bin die Art der Frau, die eine Pistole zu Ihrem Kopf stellen und Sie wird denken lassen! Der Jordan, panschen Sie mit mir nicht. Ich werde Sie auf Ihren schnelleren Esel bringen, als Sie sagen können, "Hören Sie babz bitte Auf." Ya-Ficker, aaaaaah! Yes, I am insane. Now what?

28 comments:

Xmichra said...

LOL.. i didn't know that you went all German on our asses when you drank!! Must be that Rum and Blak.. hehe ;)

Webmiztris said...

what do you do for a living? I'm going to have to go with pimpin', you dirty bitch. :)

BEAST said...

I would go with Seniour Vice President of human resources of some huge muti national , you got that killer instinct.
A german drunk huh , how cool is that!!!

Chris said...

Hallo DB, habe ich keine Idee was Sie für ein Leben tun, ich bin nicht gleichmäßiges Gehen zu versuchen und zu schätzen, hatten Töne wie Sie ein gutes Getränk zwar.

jungle jane said...

Right, I have given this some thought. I think that you work three jobs part time:

1. Lawyer in the mornings
2. Gynaecologist in the afternoons
3. Cat burglar at night.

am i right? am i right?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Xmichra, I must've been feeling German, last night, I barely remember. OMG was I drunk.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Webmiztris, You where's my money bitch. Now, get you ass back out there 'fore I have to pimp slap ya.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Beast,I wish. No I'm more flunky than that but it is a special job. I'll say that.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris darling, no I was not steady at all and almost fell over taking my clothes off to get into bed. I do remember making popcorn (dinner) and getting into bed. Bad scene baby.
Ich must've dachte, dass ich an Oktoberfest wieder, Scheiße war..

DirtyBitchSociety said...

JJ, I have been a cat burglar, oh yes. Don't you love a little espionage?

Chris said...

Ah the old Octoberfest, what a cracking festival that is, which reminds me I must go this year

jungle jane said...

yayayayay! i got one out of three! shall i keep guessing or am i likely to return from the loo to discover that someone has broken in and stolen my laptop??

Mone said...

hahaha, I JUST LOVE YOUR GERMAN. Thats probably how I sound in english :)
"Der Jordan, panschen Sie mit mir nicht." Great!

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Chris, yes, the beer, the brat, can't resist it, huh? You guys say cracking there too? That's a D.C. term, get crackin' baby.

Dirty Bitch Society said...

JJ, you're a protected member of DBS, they won't dare bother you. But actually, I am not allowed to tell except to say, I gather Intel.

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Mone, valkomein? No..., begrüßen Sie ja mein Deutsch ist ziemlich schlecht, sogar ernüchtern. Ich kann nicht wirklich schreiben, was ich denke. Ich sprach fließend als ein Kind aber es nicht häufig verwenden und selten es schreiben. Sie sind hier willkommen! I chopped it, hah!

Xmichra said...

ah! don't remove it! Really, i thought it was quite funny... hehee.. even if the German was a s drunk as you were ;)

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Xmichra, yes my German was drunk. I can't fucken write German, what the hells wrong with me? I can speak it just not really write it. See, the bad that comes from liquor? I'm doin' it all again tonite...fuck it. I'm on one.

Vagina Dentata said...

Stream of Conciousness writing at its best, girlfriend.
Move over James Joyce.
Do not fret getting old, it beats the alternative. Reject the Western culture of youth and fear. Rage my darling, rage against the dying of the light.

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

If you speak the Kraut, I've no doubt you like other things German......like the German variant of Bukkake.

Dirty Bitch Society said...

VD, such encouraging words. Yes, I needed to hear them. On one hand, I'm fine with life as I know it and possibly having wisdom in my belt. But dammit, so are my tits, tucked neatly beside the wisdom.

Dirty Bitch Society said...

SR, Well, I did have a thing for Hitler and the SS. So menacing, I would've made a good Officer. But alas, I do not look Aryan but have dark hair and brown eyes. I may have been at their disposal. Shall we meet in Heidelberg?

Chris said...

Ah DB, the term cracking, it has loads of influences in the English language, the main one being from the Irish craic, which means fun, enjoyment, abandonment, or lighthearted mischief. Oh the joys of the Emerald Isle.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, I long for the Emerald Isle. But nooooooooo I gotta be stuck on Long Island! You know I'm so Irish, my blood is green?

Chris said...

lol, well my Dad is called Paddy Keane, and you can't get a lot more Irish than that ;) well you probably could haha.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, ah shit, my Dad is Micky O'Dwyer. Yes, I do think we're a couple of Mick's in the bunch, huh? You fuckin right. The last thing I said to my Dad, last words were, "Remember, we're Fighting Irish." He raised his fist and passed.

Chris said...

Ahh DB, we are the fightinh Irish my luv, we are.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Chris, words to live by and don't ever forget it.