The Weekly Dirty Bitchzine


I want to try my hand at a new thing, a line of interrogation technique. I will ask, each person on my sidebar, a question and hopefully, you will answer. Don't be a feared. There is no rhyme or reason, yet, but a method to my madness.Here goes...

  • Ophelia; If you just inherited One Million Dollars and you have 5 minutes to pick a charity, to give $100,000 to, you must give that amount as a condition of the inheritance, what charitable cause, would you give to to?
  • Brotherray; If you could have any boat in the world, what would you own and where would you sail?

  • Webmiztris; If you could sit in on a set, what band would you love to play with....other than Jack Black?

  • Paula; You may buy any car you want, what will you purchase for a personal car because you already have a family car?

  • Snooze; You must move to the States because you are wanted by a Korean Gang of Gun Smugglers. Where will you move?

  • Woogie; You are in Witness Protection. You will have plastic surgery. What stars face will you pick?

  • Junky's Wife; If you could start your life over, at a specific year but it must be after the age of 21, what year would you start at?

  • Vagina Dentata; What quote would you want to be remembered by?

  • Old Knudsen; You may go back, freeze and stay at a certain age. What year will it be?

  • Se7en; You can have any one super power, which one will you choose, out of these three; X-Ray vision, invisibility, morphing?

  • Sterculian Rhetoric; You may be immortalized in a statue. Two questions; where will the statue sit and will it be nude?

  • Tony;You are allowed to record a television show, three pilots. What is the name of your show and why?

  • EyeBee; You can take a pill and acquire all knowledge on one of these three subjects: Music, Computers or Mathematics, which shall it be?

  • Lure Question...

Edd.d; You die and may go back and live the life of one of three people;
Monet, King George V or CoCo Chanel. Which shall it be?

40 comments:

Woogie said...

Angelina Jolie

Vagina Dentata said...

"Foeda est in coitu et brevis voluptas Et taedet veneris statim peracte.

(Delight of lust is gross and brief And weariness treads on desire.)

That would be for me, VD. For Bilious? I'd say:

"Oderint Dum Metuant"

(Let them hate so long as they fear.)

SR is the collective noun for Vagina Dentata and Bilious C. Pudenda....VD and BP

Webmiztris said...

oooh, good question! and you're right - I WOULD have picked Tenacious D first! But hmmm, other than them, I guess I'd say the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. They are a VERY cool chick-fronted band with an unusual sound - plus I already know a couple of their songs!

Vagina Dentata said...

The statue will be nude, but I will not be representationally nude. I will be a tiny piece of Bianco Carrara marble, nesting between, as if a thread of saliva, the adjoined lips of Psyche and Cupid in Antonio Canova's magnum opus.
(google images: canova cupid psyche)
BP

Most of me shall be a knife, an unsheathed and nude knife, grasped in the right hand of Proserpina as she is carried off to Hades.
Five hundred years of Proserpina’s pathetic attempt to defend herself will come to an end.
The remaining portion of me shall be rendered as three dog biscuits tantalisingly located to assuage the peckish looking Cereberus.
(google images: Bernini Rape Proserpina)
VD

Vagina Dentata said...

Our TV show:

My new reality television show plans to trick Muslim extremists into thinking they are taking part in a suicide bombing, and then secretly filming them as they explore what they imagine is the afterlife.

If death is the ultimate reality, then making the participants think they are dead is the ultimate reality television show. These young extremists will really think they have died for the jihad and gone to their Islamic paradise.

The show's set up is quite simple. Extremist militant young Muslims will be tricked into thinking that they are about to lay down their lives in the Holy Jihad. But instead, the suicide bombs in their belts will only be stun grenades. When they wake up they will have no idea that they are actually in a specially prepared aircraft hangar outside LA.

They believe that seventy two virgins will be waiting for them in paradise. In my version, there is only Roseanne Barr and Cher. It would be more entertaining if paradise was consistently disappointing and very poorly run. Nothing works and the food is awful, mostly pork and pork by-products. Oh and God and St Peter will be there too, because I want these guys to have to adjust to waking up in a Judeo-Christian heaven. And I'll make God a New York style, Jewish mother.

The Police will not be informed of the identity of the suicide bombers until the end of the series, nor the secret location in which the programme is being filmed. I thought it might compromise the illusion that these people were in Heaven if armed policeman suddenly burst in and pumped thirty bullets into their heads.
BP and VD

brotherray said...

Oh HELL YEAH! It would have to be a Fountain Powerboat, I think. We saw the Poker Run - thing probably moves at about 100 mph. Kind of slow, I know, but....

which reminds me.... I always wanted to get laid in a Fountain Powerboat, too, smoking a cigarette at the same time. (they're called cigarette boats, too.)

.Ophelia. said...

where the fuck have I been!?
I feel like Ive woekn from a coma and dont know where I am.
You made a new blog and its been up since FEB!>?
I am so bad.

Vagina Dentata said...

.ophelia - silly goose!
You acquiesced to Hamlet's entreaty.
Remember?
Act 3, Scene 1:

"Go thy ways to a nunnery"

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, go to Webmiztrises page. She has a celebrity morp site listed about three, maybe four posts down. Do it and post. I can't wait to see it. I think with your eyes and her lips, woohoo!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, you have schooled me again. So....Carpe Diem. Better get a distemper shot before hand.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Webmiztris, cool ass answer. They are different but the only song, at this moment, that stands out, is Maps. I loved it.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, OMG! There will surely be war in the heavens.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, The T.V. Show; that is the funniest, most justified thing I've ever read and in a perfect world, well, that'd be the ticket. BTW, it's not 72 virgins, it's 72 Virginians and I'll be there to kick their towel headed asses!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

brotherray, stand proud you Redneck muther. I love it. So are we using Berkley Trilene or what? You can bone Jimmy Houston and I'll do Hank Parker, unless you got a problem with a fella that kisses fish? lol! Oh fuck!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Ophelia, no Darling, this was a hostile take over of a another persons page. You've not been away that long, my Sleeping beauty. Glad you finally came. I will of course add you and a question for you later, that is if you don't mind?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, be nice to my Chief of Staff...
Madame Ophelia

BEAST said...

I will supply an answer , you can select the appropriate question.

"There is of course a risk of abrading your genital warts , but I wouldnt let the cold kippers put you off"

Vagina Dentata said...

DBS - I was nice to her, honest. Dshe asked ano doubt rhetorical question as to where had she been. I was only reminding her.

Carpe Diem?

Ha! I prefer:

"Carpe Pudendum!"

'pudenda, pudendum' being a second declension neuter noun in Latin meaning: "That which must be hidden" Of course, genitals! Male or female. For the above, "Carpe Diem" I am using a masculine ending.

There was a nasty ice storm up here in the Canadas awhile back. Everything was covered in Ice and all the electricity lines were down. No power and people were freezing in their houses without heat. The Power Workers were too few to help fast enough. A contingent of Power Workers came up from Virginia to help out.
Some grateful homeowner placed a large sign on her front yard that read:

"Yes Santa Claus, There is a Virginia!"

Made me misty it did, really.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Beast, oh I love this game. OK, this has my ass hairs clinging to the wall.
The $100,000 Question is;

If your cock, secured firmly in the lathe,attempting to grind off the tattoo but avoiding the genital warts because the Mrs. enjoys them, what fish, surprisingly, would you use as a cauterizing element?

"There is of course a risk of abrading your genital warts , but I wouldn't let the cold kippers put you off"

Vagina Dentata said...

In Burma(now called Myanmar)South East Asia, in the past, males would insert a row of tiny gold 'bells' under their foreskin. In-line with the length of the penis. The 'bumps' would stimulate the clitoris during intercourse and the bells would sing out a melodious serenade.
The Thai ladies could not wait for the arival of the Burmese traders.
Funny how genital mutilation in that culture was done on the men. Why did we let that stop ladies?

Woogie said...

I posted it , Lovey but I may have to do another one..I look better as Christina!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, when I am elected that will be the second law I will enforce, oh yes, I do believe you are onto something big, well that's what he said...

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, I'll check it out this evening. I am on duty and sneaking and lurking in the bushes. I steal away to my computer and then run back. Don't anybody ever tell me I'm not a dedicated bloggin bitch!

thejunkyswife said...

Hmmm...I wish you were a fairy and these answers could be made true!

I'd start over at 24. That's how old I was when I married my first husband. If I hadn't married my first husband, I probably would have lost track of my second husband.

There was a man who had a crush on me during my brief stint in law school. He was fantastically wealthy, and fairly handsome. I found him to be kind of a weinie compared to my beautifully felonious husband, but if I'd been single, maybe I would have taken the wealthy future lawyer seriously.

Probably, then, I'd be about to graduate from law school and married to a lawyer.

Sigh...

Thanks Dirty Bitch...now I'm going to go hang myself (that was a bad joke).

DirtyBitchSociety said...

junkyswife, Sorry, really but every now and then, I too wonder what could have been. But if the truth were told, we go through all we do for a reason. If we stop searching for those answers we die.I wish I could turn it back for you but but but (fuck my Tourette's)you may not be the real and unique person...you have become.

Paula said...

A purple Ferrari! I was going to say a Lexus, but what the hell, y'know? Not that I'd speed or anything. :)

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Paula, a purple Ferrari, how wonderful, truly. I'd die if I had one. Now, where would you drive in your new car, as soon as you get it?

Eyebee said...

I'd love to say Music, as it's my #1 spare time activity (as I told Old Bitter Balls only yesterday), and I enjoy Mathematics too, but I would have to choose Computers, as it's in that sphere that I make my living now.

Vagina Dentata said...

"...you but but but (fuck my Tourette's)...."

Nyuck nyuck! What's this Yankee Tourettes's?

"Cunt fuck cock"

That's Canadian Tourette's

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Eyebee, I knew it and I would have bet my whole ass on it, not that I get much for it these days but I was perfectly willing to forfeit in the event I was wrong, which I knew I wouldn't be. What a sad game, next time I must bet against myself. What the hell is wrong with me, lol?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, what the fuck fuck fuck me in the ass running are you talking about?

Snooze said...

Oooh - I guess I'd have to live somewhere where there weren't any Asian people so that the Korean gang hunting me down would stand out immediately. And meanwhile I'd have to blend in. So let's see - a nonmulticultural area that was really open-minded.

Ah screw it - I'd move in with you. you'd protect me, right?

Woogie said...

I fell asleep early now Im up. what did I miss?

"My new reality television show plans to trick Muslim extremists into thinking they are taking part in a suicide bombing, and then secretly filming them as they explore what they imagine is the afterlife." what a concept!

tony said...

What A Good Question!
I think a Reality Show type thang.But.With a Twist.The Great& The Good.Politicians;Religious Leaders;Alan Sugar.Those Sort of People.
A Big Brother House Type set-up.Just throw them in the house.For an unspecified amount of time.
(a) it would get them out of the way for a while
(b) hopefully,we would get to see a more true picture of what the were like.
The Title of The Show.?ummmmm.i will get back to you on that one.........

DirtyBitchSociety said...

snooze, of course I would. I'll change the sheets in the guest room right now. I'm already on alert because the Latin Kings have a hit on me, what's one more gang? (true story)

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, isn't that the funniest shit? It's now 6:40am and I went to bed at 10pm. I had such a nasty headache and I took a soma, crawled into bed, watched a bit of , oh hell what's the movie, Maid in Manhattan? Jennifer Lopez? So, I feel rested and the headache is gone but it was a tense day yesterday and I was on top of the program but my muscles were too on top.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Tony, by god, I do think you have a good idea. I mean it's worked for celebrities. But the public wants to know their politicians, what better way than to delve deep inside with a reality show. Damn fine idea. Maybe, we need to submit this as a campaign factor, the candidate must endure before they get out vote, huh? Right?

Edd.D said...

this is too tough, but if I had to pick it would be Coco. Whats that say about me?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Edd.d Darling, it says you have taste.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Edd.d, damn good taste.