Coyote Ugly


I wanted to expand on this post from Babs Bitchin. Of course,
Babs Bitchin is my ultra conservative blog, so I could never post the following pics there, why I might offend somebody. But here, well, I could give a fuck. There, I am this shining individual who young women emulate...NOT, more bullshit but anyway...

So, if the truth were known, when I was drunk, I have gone home with some doosies. I admit it and it's a confession, of a cathartic realm. They're not all sordid ugly stories but...

Roger, wanted to wear my panties and kept uttering how he loved it, when he banged me and my toes pointed. I do remember that much. The next morning it was a little guy with a Hitler mustache, who I could have picked up and thrown out of my house, easily, had I not been so hungover.

Frank the Freak, was so intent on taking me home, I think I finally caved in. He wasn't a bad looking fella but it looked like somebody stole half his hair as he had a crown around the middle, not the top but the middle of his head. It was down the middle of his back, nice flowing black hair. We were kissing and he took his hat off and I almost laughed out loud. It just looked weird. But Frank was a freak and wanted me to put my chaps on with high heels. I did it.

One guy, well his dick was no bigger than my little finger. I met him in a bar in Quanitco, Va., where I lived. It was a heavy metal club, called Tiki Fala. Now, he wasn't a bad looking Corporal, actually But I banged him in the woods and lost my car keys. It was so dark and I couldn't see a thing but I could feel. All he wanted to do was eat at the Y and far be it from me to deny him.
I had to have a friend come get me and go back the next morn to find my keys.

I lost track at 365. That number is like playing the lottery, you're bound to come across some memorable bed partners. Let me pour you a drink...Here's to better days and better lays!


You went home with this...





...but ended up with this when you sobered up and her neighbors sprayed you with a garden hose cause you were both fucking on the front lawn, like a couple of dogs, well, it was only one dog, so now you are labeled as a guy who is really into bestiality? That was a long ass sentence but you get the picture. C'mon I want to know the truth?...
He was so charming and let you caress his bald head, both of 'em. You went home with this...
Butt you woke up with this, damn, damn, damn!

33 comments:

Vagina Dentata said...

"...Babs Bitchin is my ultra conservative blog...."

I did not realise there was a difference between BB and the DBS. Accordingly, I may have incorrectly partaken of the right comment in the wrong handy comments facility.

Apologies.
In the future feel free to delete me if I stray from within the bounds of acceptable behaviour.
I won't mind.

I have only known five women in my 44 years, starting at 12 and finishing with my wife, but I have never cared about the physical aspect. The body can paint but one picture in the mind. The mind can paint an infinite number of pictures in the mind.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, note my sarcasm please. I am a crass ass. On further note...you have a point and when it comes down to it, I weigh or perceive you, not by your appearance outside but by what you show me from the inside. That's the facts. I am not one of the beautiful people and am always willing to laugh at myself. You may laugh with me if you like?
It has taken growth hormones, I mean growth to come to understand ones self-worth and rise above self-esteem issues. I had them on one hand and on the other I was always a raging bitch. It is quite possible that I have split or multiple personalities. I can remember the very premise or reason, that I got my first tattoo, back in 1975. It was because a guy, who I physically pushed off of me, called me "A snake wrapped around a rose." I went and had the tat done, a 6in. tattoo of a cobra wrapped around a rose. But I often felt ugly. So, beauty is a state of mind as well, how we view others.

Woogie said...

Wow the shit is getting deep in here.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, put on your waders. I know you've got a designer pair, darling, don't you? lol!

Vagina Dentata said...

That was Bilious using my URL and avatar by the way. I've many more notches on my godemiche than five.
Shite I did the entire cast of Ben Hur at their 25 year reunion baccchanal for christ's sake.
I do agree with the two of you though, the mind is everything, oh and the multiple personality bit too. Obviusly.

"Snake wrapped around a rose"? I trust you placed your fashionable FM pump in his groin and exclaimed: "Here's the snake" and then wiped the dirt you left with a tyre iron exclaiming: "And here's the rose"?
To laugh at one's self and subsume the ego is the mark of maturity. There are very few who can do this on this continent. Something to rejoice in, girlfriend.

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

Erm.....
Apologies ladies....
But not you VD, you're a cunt.
I was trying to explore my feminine side is all. Enlightening, I dare say.
Query though: How do I get rid of this thrush infection now?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, I kicked at him with my steel toed riding boot. Still a tomboy then. Hell, always have been. But I am more attracted to a beautiful stiletto. Many men, many men, may God strike me, have felt this bitches wrath but those words, always stuck.
The Whole cast of Ben Hur, good for you. Back in the day of free love, it wasn't so scary, hell it may have even been a sport. We might even have had the Sexual Olympics were it not for all the bullshit.

And it takes one to know one. You must be to see, that is maturation. Seeds are planted years ago, upon which comes fruition if we are survivalists. I am a funky Venous Fly-Trap. You just might be a carnivore too, huh?

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

I wonder if I could impose upon your gracious indulgence a tad.
You have me iterated under the heading:
"Honorary Dirty Bastards"
As a Canadian and a correct speller of English, I wonder if it would be at all possible if I could be listed under my own title:
"Honourary Dirty Bastard(s)"?
We here in Soviet Canuckistan are rather anl about this sort of thing. Or at least the 15 or so of us who can read and write are anyway.

Vagina Dentata said...

"anl" bilious? Obviously you are not one of the 15!

A steel toed riding boot IS an FM Pump where I come from.

"...I am a funky Venous Fly-Trap. You just might be a carnivore too, huh?..."

Feed me Seymour!.

Me?
A Carnivore?
Don't you be letting the dentition fool you girlfriend. I am but a smooth and cuddly velvet glove with a lustrous nap. A velvet glove which just happens to encase an iron fist though.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

SR, if it weighs upon you, it is me, I am a bit over weight but your wish is my command.
Kisses

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, why are my nipples hard reading that velvet glove part, meow?

Woogie said...

Backing out the door very quietly. DIRTY BITCH! Are You purring?

Woogie said...

Of course I have designer waders. I spent a month in Peru at Christmas. That rainforest can get sloppy! Wanna borrow em? Looking like you are in desperate need! Can I borrow your pumps?

Hi RS!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie prrprrprrprr...

Which pumps, would you like to borrow, my dick pumps or Prada?

Woogie said...

Prada Darlin, I'm not in the mood to kick any dick this evenin'. Are you? I could be persuaded.

Woogie said...

Sr How cum your comments are closed? Surely you must miss me by now! Or CC Rider Her Name Dropping, Thats it!

~Babsbitchin~ said...

woogie, I am one dog dick tired bitch tonite I have worked three weeks straight and am going to lay around like a fat dog till Monday.

~Babsbitchin~ said...

woogie, yes, I noticed SR's commenting was off. Being anti-social, I suppose?

Woogie said...

Let's lay around...yeah thats what we need to do. man! sounds good! do i have to have my dog shaved or can i wait? yeah.....lets layaround an masterbate..wanta?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, no the dog will have to wait, too much work, just lay around and masturbate. Life is good when you can diddle and diddle and diddle, huh? Oh and have a nice drinkypoo. I'm on drink two already, fuck and it's only 8ish, what a lush. And when I say drink, it's a big one, Mama don't play. Now, why don't you have a nice glass of wine and sit by your pool I hate your guts for that pool dammit it but because I love you, I'll forgive you, oh shit, lol!

Woogie said...

fuck your a pansy..im on drink 4..wishing you were here and we could laughing our asses off..and we so would!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, I started late, give me credit. I wish I was there too and Wys, now that would be a shit kickin' good time. I'm throwing your ass in the pool...

brotherray said...

Deep yes Deep - sometimes we must get deep!

Par-TAY? Shit - I can guarantee you ain't a mother fucker on this boat knows partying like Babs and me. I could tell stories that'll make yo fuckin panties unwad, and Babs could tell some and make em wad back up.

Five women, huh VD? I've known...(give me time to switch to memory mode here) three women (two were bitch coyote moments.) Enough decades have passed that their teeth aren't as clear now today, thank you, Jayzus.

Men? Got a composition book?

Question for the deep waters only: Who among the dirty bitches in here has ever walked the streets for a living?

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

I'm going to my therapist now. My demons are acting up.

Edd.D said...

its always the beers fault, luckily it works in my favour sometimes aswell

DirtyBitchSociety said...

brotherray, deep, so very deep, huh? Hip Waders, I hear they're in style. Woogie will wear hers with a beautiful pair of beaded sandles, add a little class to the action.

Women do not realize they are prostitutes, in many respects, especially the gold diggers. They'll hold the sex over a guys head for dinner, money, jewelry and so on. They just ain't workin' the street.
Me? I pretty much gave the shit away and it would damage my pride to ask a man for just about anything, I've been too independent But as much as I slept around, I could've been paid, just like the other girls. Hustle & Flow, huh?
I'll be curious to see if anyone answers you? They might be a feared, huh?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

edd.d, you sho got that right. Yes, I can't say it's always been my demise. In fact, I've been lucky quite a few times. I need a lucky streak dammit!

Woogie said...

I wish I could say I walked the streets. Only once to I prostitute proper. I gave a guy head for my rent money, during a "bad streak". 500 bucks back in let's see 1979. Took 10 minutes. I met him in a deserted field in my mustang, he in some boat like a lincoln continental or a caddy. He was supposedly a mafia guy, I was young, I didn't care just gimme the money and lets get on with it.

Now, my life the last 10 years has been one huge prostitution gig. But I must be careful discussing that for fear of C C riding by!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, you are not alone, believe me. We've all done some unsavory shit, to get ahead or what not. There's always some asshole that's willing to pay and profit from your pain.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

woogie, don't you wonder, well, I wonder, why I gave the shit away, most of these years, when I could have made money. It is and was the oldest profession known to man, huh?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, where have you gone. Come back here, right this minute. You do know that I track people for a living, don't you? The Sioux in me will find you if I must...

Webmiztris said...

omg, is that chick's bush for real???!!!!111!?

nasty!!!!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

webmiztris, poor thing, huh? I don't think anybody ever had "The Talk," with her, huh?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Webmiztris, I'll bet there are guys that get turned on by that shit. She's a hot commodity.
What's funny about it, putting it on here was a carefully calculated move. It was getting buttloads of hits on my site meter on Babs Bitchin, so I put it on here too cause I'm a glutton for punishment, rude, crude and socially unacceptable. I just can't help it, lol!