Confession Time...

Spitting; I must admit, it's not very ladylike but I never really was.

My last beau, Chris, was a spitter but he also chewed Skoal, a trait I said I'd never accept from a guy. But love is bigger than a can of Skoal and I over looked it. I suppose the fact that he was built like a bull, in all ways, young(35), virile and I was feeling rather old, at 46, also stood to sway me?

I left him in November of 2005, moving from Pittsburgh, you know, for what I thought were better days, better ways, better lays. Well, not the last part but the man lost it right after I left, a blow he would never recover from. This was a man who'd wanted to marry me, had purchased a ring and was going to surprise me. My surprise of, "Hey, I'm moving 375 miles away to help my Sister," negated his surprise. It was a sad day, one of my hardest, as I pulled away in the moving truck, he helped load. He killed himself, this past March.

Not long after, I began spitting, whenever I smoked, outside, out back, by myself. I hadn't really given it a thought, until recently. No, I don't think it's a very nice habit, for starters and I'd even broke my beau of spitting on the sidewalk, as we walked hand in hand.

During my recent visit, from my oldest son, Lee, we'd been out back smoking and I spit, not even thinking (I'm alone most of the time, out back when I smoke). With a tone of sarcastic amusement, Lee says, "Oh, that's really HOT.Why ya gotta spit on the steps?" I promised I wouldn't anymore. I guess it's pretty nasty when your own son has to correct your behavior, which is not the first time and probably won't be the last. Later in the day, he called me a "Hot Mess," too.

I woke this morn at 4:30am and went out back to smoke and spit. Why I do it, I don't know except I don't like to swallow the smoky saliva. Yes, smoking's one of my last great vices, well, that and Popcorn covered in butter and salt.
No, I don't spit in public but dammit, I'm gonna spit in Chris's honor.
Redneck Terms of Endearment, right???



10 comments:

Bedazzler said...

I don't know what's worse, the spitting, or the phlegm-gobbing...

Actually I had to tell my mother, an elementarty (typo, but I'm keeping it) school-teacher, to please stop swearing, because " it's un-ladylike."

warrior scout said...

spitting anywhere but in the gutter along the sidewalk is pretty lame. so is tossing a butt anywhere except where a street sweeper goes.
that being said, i've done them both more often than i'd care to devulge.
but i think the most awkward is spitting jizz after a knobjob. there's just not a really discreet or mannerly way to do it.

warrior scout said...

omg- i almost forgot.

i'm tagging you. hope you'll play.
anything goes, as usual...

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Bedazzler, "Elementarty" should be a word, huh? I swear like a Sailor myself, I mean bad. You'd have to smack me. But I do have the scruples and decorum to know where and when to keep myself in check.

Yes, phlegm-gobbing is rather nasty, is it not? Sounds like an Olympic Event though, huh?

Now, if you read this, again, I ask when are you gonna invite me to read your blog? I feel so left out, a wallflower, not picked for the soccer game, picked last if your lucky for the team. I'm hurt, I'm just torn to itty bitty pieces. I don't know if I can go on much longer...
You get the picture, right? Now, you get your Bedazzled Butt into gear Mister, right now before I have to come over there and kick off your tiara dammit!!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Warrior Scout, I must agree. There was even a time, when women were not to smoke in public, this even in my lifetime. But spitting, omg, my mother would just die if she knew. She raised me in the old Finishing School way, prim and proper. I mean, "Walk, one toe in front of the other, head up, chest out, stomach in, buttock out, use the proper fork, sit like a lady, keep your mouth shut if you have nothing but idle chatter..."

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Warrior Scout, P.S.,Yer killin me, ah shit better learn to swallow. But there's always a silver lining, be glad the jizz is not in your eye. Damn it burns not to mention fucks up your eyeliner, which I'd not be caught dead without.

Bedazzler said...

Warrior Scout - what about tossing salad anywhere except a street sweeper?

Babz - I'm having a break from blogging at the moment so don't feel left out - you ain't missing aa thing!

~Babz~ said...

Bedazzler, see now, you're a prime example. I guarantee, before he slips it in, you don't mind if he spits on it before hand, huh? hahaha! You ol salad tosser you!

When you do decide you'll come back, I want a personal invite to read. Yes, I was so upset, I almost slit my wrists. Don't make me pull your hair!

Bedazzler said...

...my PUBIC hair?

DBS said...

Bedazzler, you kinky bitch you. One at a time, dammit, one at a time!

Mwah!