The Sum of it All

I saw this on a man's page and I hate to be cliche ish but this is pretty accurate. My all time fav was "Fine Whatever."

Words Women Use

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes.. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.


Anonymous said...

I thought the "Fine" answer was for the query from and ugly and decidedly un-hot Police Officer after he pulls you over for speeding:

"Blow Job or Fine? Your choice?"

Eye Rolls
The silent meanings of the eye roll communication medium between the man and the woman.
Between the woman and the woman? Tomorrow!

Up and Hold
The eyeballs move directly up and then hold, The eyeballs can stay in the up position for as long as the woman deems necessary. When she is ready, the eyeballs will drop back to the neutral position.
This eye roll is a manifestation of how much the woman is embarrassed. The most common expression is the "I can't believe you just did that." This eye roll is very satisfying for most women. It allows for an emotional outlet that replaces a verbal outburst.

Horizontal Hold
DESCRIPTION:The eyeballs move horizontally, either to the left or right, are held there for an appropriate time and then snap back to the neutral position. This motion is similar to that of an elastic band.
PSYCHO-EMOTIONAL:This is the "I do not want to be here" eye roll. The horizontal slide motion is an attempt to focus on something else. Feelings of boredom or distraction are not uncommon a cause.

Up at 45 and Return
DESCRIPTION:The eyeballs move up at a 45 degree angle, either to the left or right, depending on the woman's inclination. They then spring back to the neutral position. The eye roll can be done very quickly or savoured slowly depending on the woman's mood or style.
PSYCHO-EMOTIONAL:This is the most commonly used "What ever" eye roll. It is widely used by women and easy to perform. It simply means "I don't really want to hear what you are saying."

DESCRIPTION:The eyeballs move directly to the 'Up and Hold' position. They then swing in a pundulum like motion to the left or right. This eye roll requires a full swing, left to right, or vice versa, before returning to the neutral position. The 'Static Pendulum' version of this eye roll involves the shaking of the head while the eyeballs are in the 'Up and Hold' position.
PSYCHO-EMOTIONAL:This eye roll is the most distressful one in the repertoire. The swing is indicative of a struggle the woman is having with a man. Feelings of anger are usually associated with this "I need to escape" eye roll.

Around the Clock
DESCRIPTION:The eyballs move to the 'Up' position then immediately start to rotate, either clockwise or counter clockwise, until at least one full rotation has been performed. One rotation is most common, though multiple rotations are possible, before returning to the neutral position.
PSYCHO-EMOTIONAL:This is the "Here we go again" eye roll. It is usually performed counter clockwise to simulate the reversal of time. Not unlike a double or triple take. The woman has once again had the opportunity to see that it is the same old shite; different day! Feelings of frustration are the norm.

Crosseyed Up and Hold
DESCRIPTION:The eyeballs move in a crosseyed manner towards the centre of the forehead at 45 degrees until they arrive at the 'Up and Crosseyed' position. The 'Hold' position is then initiated and maintained for as long as the woman desires before returning to the neutral position.
PSYCHO-EMOTIONAL:The nature of this eye roll is to de-focus from the present situation. Most often seen following the 'Around the Clock' eye roll if that one proved to be unsuccessful. It is often referred to as the "Why are you doing this again" eye roll. Feelings of frustration, anger and contempt are the standard.

They work for me, they do!

Old Knudsen said...

Weemen ask you questions they already know the answers too so you'll incriminate yerself, why would you own up to something you were trying to get away with?

You haven't got a button for honourary dirty bastards to put on their sidebar with pride. I feel so discriminated against.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, you've written a thesis here. Now, have you done your research, on this to back up your hypothesis?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, I am a huge proponent of eye rolling. But if I catch you rolling your eyes at me, I'm ready to fight. Nothing pisses me off more than that or if someone mocks me, you know, repeating what I've said in a mocking tone. I lose my cool completely.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Old Knudsen, You are right, they are usually called "Shotgun Questions," aren't they. Poor SOB's you do have it rough, coming and going, huh?

Now, I will design such a button, only for the best of the best, my Honourary's!