Ramblings; Kevin Kline Wants to Eat Me...

I was looking at my notes and saw a notation, I'd written to myself, in the middle of the night. I don't often remember my dreams, much anymore but I remembered this one, only because I'd written myself the note.
3am ish, I woke to go pee, right in the middle of a good dream. Well, it was rather humorous, now that I think about it...

Ever watched the movie, "A Fish Called Wanda?" If you've not, you need to but this may be lost on you. I was dreaming that I'd just been released from Prison. Guess who meets me or something like that but I know, Kevin Kline was going to go down on me. He was being funny, goofy, just like he was in the movie.

But it was real to me and I remember thinking, in my dream, that I'd not mowed the lawn. What I'm referring to, is the fact that in prison, what's the whole point of really keeping things, in divine order? I mean, who's gonna be looking at the ol meat curtains, unless you're in a sexual relationship?

I had a girlfriend, in prison but we'd not gone there. She wasn't accessible, not really. Girls have been able to get away with shit in different units/cell blocks and especially if you're in good with your celly. But it's not so easy, if you're in a block, like I was, towards the end. We didn't really have big showers. I'd been moved to an honor cottage, as they called it and there were four of us in each room. We also had our own bathroom/shower, which we only shared with the four of us. Now, if your girlfriend lives down the hall, as mine did, you can't really get away with too much as the cameras were focused and roving the hallways. I'd been in the position to clean the bullet proof glass of the Control Room. They could focus their cameras, even on the 1/2 acre yard and see, up close and personal, every move you made and focus in on the DOC name and number, you wore on your uniform.

So, my point is what? So, you don't mow the lawn quite as close or as often, get my drift?

I was feeling a bit self-conscious, in my dream cause Mr.Kevin Kline was going to eat at my restaurant. I'm not sure, either, why I was dreaming about Kevin Kline as I've not seen any movie with him in it, in years. But that's ok, I'm hoping he drops by tonight. I've made sure to see the Barber and all is Marine Corp. Semper Fi Do or Die!

14 comments:

Miz UV said...

That's hilarious! Have you seen the article about the woman who "mowed" too much? Yeeouch!

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Miz UV, no, I've not seen it. Whrere is it? I want to read of such horror. Ouch I can feel it.

Eyebee said...

I know it could well led to planting a tree in the middle of it, but I've always shied away from mowing lawns in case I do some irreparable damage. Yes, ouch I can almost feel it too.

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Eyebee, I'd never trust anybody to do my lawn, oh hell no. I've seen guys and had guys ask me, if they could. Yea, that's just what I need, some drunkin' Indian wanting to get funny with a razor. My Mama didn't raise no dummy, for damn sure.

Jonathan said...

"The ol meat curtains"? LOL! Hadn't heard that one before!

Nope, nobody's trimmin' my boys but me, and I ain't shavin' your landing strip, either. Sure, I'd prefer it if you kept her trim so I don't hawk up a hairball, but I'm gonna have to leave the machete job to the ladies. :-p

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Jonathan, I must confess, my ex husband said meat curtains to me about 6 mon. ago. I rolled off the bed laughing. I'd never heard it before that. Of course I loved it enough I want it to be my new nickname.
I do imagine, it's gotta be a lot of trust for anybody to let somone shave the jewels or vice versa. I don't trust anybody that well. Ever got a hair in your throat, eeeeeeew, it's not something you forget. You try to act all normal and pretend it's not there.

Jonathan said...

Ever got a hair in your throat, eeeeeeew, it's not something you forget.

Yep, I wind up looking and sounding like a cat: AAAAAAACK! HAWWWWWWWWWWWWK! Not cool.

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Jonathan, nothing ruins the moment like the ol' hair in the throat trick, huh? Those nasty buggers just like to stick there and are near impossible to cough up. I've had to stick my whole hand down my throat, trying to get it out. Now, I have to wonder, why we even have pubes in the first place? These are some of the things, I will be asking the Big Guy, when I get there. I also want to know, why guys have nipples? I do admit, I like man nipples, though.

Bedazzler said...

Hmm...clearly you haven't seen my Corned Beef SANDWICH POST, BUT, THANKS FOR THE COMMENTPLIMENT!!! I love DBS and you are the hotness, trust! I totes sausage-linked you already.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Bedazzler, well, put on the coffee or break out and make Sangria, I'm coming over to read the elusive Corned Beef story. I can eat me some corned beef, right here, right now. But he doesn't have to be Kosher, haha!

brotherray said...

HAHAHAHAHA on mowing that lawn and blowing off the landing strip! Nothing quite like a 4 inch strip of floss wrapped around your tonsils in the moment! ACCCCCKKKKK!

Jonathan said...

I also want to know, why guys have nipples? I do admit, I like man nipples, though.

I don't know why we have them, either. I'm glad we do, though. And I'm delighted to encounter women that like them, too. ;-)

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Brotherray, gotta love it, huh? hahaha!OMG, I'm gagging just thinking about the 4 in. strip wrapped around my tonsils.There's nothing worse though, than finding a hair in your mouth, mid stroke and you know you'd better get it before it goes down your throat. Imagine choking to death on a hair. That'd be awful, huh? "Well Bob, how'd she die?" "Well Jimmy, she was giving me head, licked my balls and musta got a mouth full of loose hair. Next thing ya know, she's choking. I tried to do the Hiney Lick Maneuver but she just couldn't come around. She did die smiling though."

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Jonathan, I love to play with them. I'm a freak and it turned me on to nibble. My ex said it gave him a scratchy feeling in his throat. If it wasn't intense, I couldn't touch him. But for those gorilla warfare, balls up, boner touching the clouds, I could just about get away with anything. Yes, I said anything and believe me, I tried it. I turned my ex into a whole freak.