The Brick

Do you sometimes feel the strong urge to throw something hard at very annoying colleagues? If you are afraid of the social and legal consequences, you should use this fake brick. The fake brick is a realistic looking brick made out of foam, which will cause panicked looks of your victim but no physical harm. The fake brick has the following dimensions: 21*10*6.5cm.

Order Yours Today!

Next Weeks Feature; The Realistic Gun. Yes, you pull that baby out and heads will turn. Why go Postal when you can make them shit themselves ...The Realistic Gun

15 comments:

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

centimetres?

CENTIMETRES?

How non-Yankee of you.

What of the potential myocardial infarction that the Nerf-Brick might cause?

Dirty Bitch Society said...

SR, well of course I know my centimeters because of show off men, who rather refer to their schlong in centimeters. It just sounds like more, huh?

Well, the infarction, is plausible if you hit the heart just right or they present with a predisposition. But a nice case of Radiculitis would be fun too. When they whip their head back to miss it, hopefully their whiplash conjures up a little more emotion. The genius is in the fact that if you throw it just right, they whip the head and you've not hit them, there's no evidence, even on MRI or CAT scan but they suffer the symptoms. The potential is endless, huh?

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

Vicious, vicious woman.
I like it!

You may know your centimeters but do you know your centimetres?

Ha! At 2.54 cm to the inch, it does make even the most modest of appendages sound 'adequate'.
Yes?
For instance, I could give you 25.4 cms! Of course, you'll have to let me fuck you twice.

Vagina Dentata said...

Delusions of adequacy again, Bilious?
Thrice more like!
Ignore him ladies, he's not known a woman in the biblical sense for quite some time and is suffering the psychological effects of chronic DSB (Deadly Sperm Build-up)

Snooze said...

When I was waitressing a guy threw one of those at me. I was carrying a tray of fine china and by some miracle didn't drop it all. I just remember his teen daughter going, "Oh god dad..."

Dirty Bitch Society said...

SR, I am soooooooo beholden to you. Smart ass crass, I have fallen so deeply in love, hah!
Please sir, I'll have another!

Dirty Bitch Society said...

VD OMG, that does sound quite painful. I may have to put on my coat and stethoscope and take care of this. Poor man.

Dirty Bitch Society said...

Snooze, I may have then whipped the fine china at him, knowing full well, I'd have to pay for it. Some things are just ...priceless.

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

Well, DBS, if I am not mistaken that surely reads as a come on. At least to me anyway.
My pseudo-rachitis, caused by the 6 litre spermatazoan fluxion in and amongst my gonads, will slow my rate of travel, but I am on my way.

Vagina Dentata said...

Don't hold your breath DBS. Though the anticipation may well be effervescent, the subsequent reality will be found to be wanting.

jungle jane said...

I'd buy one if it was made from shit. that would be heaps of fun.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

SR, omg what will I wear? Panties or no? I mean you don't want to seem too presumtuos. Fuck it, I'll cut a hole out in the crotch of my panty hose and no panties. omg what shoes? Black or red pumps, stiletto's,thigh high boots? Dammit, do I wear the boots up or Pirate style? omg, my hair...should I wear it up or down, curled on the ends, (men do love the long hair during sex when they can feel it tickle their balls) I arch my back and my waist length hair tickles your legs but if I put it up, you can rip it down, omg I like that and grab a fist full. omg I can't wait!It's been 19 months, I hope I don't hurt you, well...muhahahahaha

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, you burst my bubble. Is that similar to popping my cherry? It's been so long, it may have grown back?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

VD, that explains the fruit flies, huh?

DirtyBitchSociety said...

jungle Jane, well you're in luck. I just got my car repair bill and have just shit a brick. Will you trade me the strap on?