D B Society

Fini

2008-09-18T11:48:00.004-04:00

Damn these hot flashes!

Damn..It Was Hot

2008-09-13T09:58:00.008-04:00

Time is lost in some kinda warp for me right now. I went to Phoenix Arizona for like 1 1/2 weeks, which by the way, I do not recommend in the dead of summer. It was 115 degrees during the day. Holy Bat Shit was it hot! But WOW did I get a tan quick! Check out these tans lines baby!

But the whole trip was validated when I got to see my granddaughter, Kassandra. She just turned 10 going on 27. God she's beautiful and funny, (she gets that heinous sense of humor from me, of course) I also got to see my all time BFF/Sister, Rene', her two youngest, Addy and Ronnie and her new grandbaby. Rhianna, my niece is a bright eyed and bushy tailed little addition to our dysfunctional family.

I met Rene' way back in the late 80's. She was 8 months pregnant with Ronnie. Long story short, I'd stirred up a whole bees nest. A black kid had done some shit to my oldest son and I went over to confront the parents. Rene' and her family and mine were the only white family's in the projects. Long story shorter...I had my gun pulled, holding them off as they were threatening to fuck with my son who was trapped in the car out front. She saw me, gun drawn pointed at this whole crowd daring any one of them to go near my kid and she waddled down and asked me if I needed help. That took heart if you ask me. I asked her to call the cops. She called and they'd told her they'd already received 3 calls about a crazy white woman with a gun. That'd be me.

That wasn't the last time Rene' and I had each others back. All these years later, it'd be her I'd want to back me up in any given situation. They just don't make 'em like her anymore. Now, we're both Grandma's. Whoda thunk it?

We talked each other out of doing Crystal Meth, whilst together. See how we've matured? I mean this Grandma gig is some serious shit, ya know. I guess you're not supposed to do drugs once you get to the "Grandma" status? That's the rumor anyway but till I get the Memo and see it in Black & White they can kiss my lily white ass. Well, it's not exactly white now. Ever see a prune right before it's completely dried?

Sorry Darling...gone are the days of Grandma with a tight blue perm, MooMoo, stockings, pocketbook and Hushpuppy shoes. I ain't wearing no fucking rain bonnet either. I did figure out why Grandma's have all that red lipstick, you know way up over their lips. It has something to do with what number Margarita you're on. Yes, it is my own personal findings, it's in the math equation.

So, I'm back, a little crispy but just around the edges... (1990? Rene' and I or is it Rene' and me? Looking for our husbands...run motherfucker, run!)

JJ's Lovely Nipple Ring

2008-08-21T10:46:00.006-04:00

What a fat fuckin farce! Who wears a nipple ring such as that unless you want to share it with America? Do you really believe that was an accident? I know it wasn't!

Well kids, I'm off to too Flippin Hot Phoenix Arizona for a week or better. As if I'm not crisp enough...

Me & My Peeps

2008-08-02T08:26:00.004-04:00

Am I odd because I think it's retarded to go to a male strip joint with guys gyrating their junk in your face? It turns me off and I find I'd much rather go to watch women dance than men. Am I alone on this?

Me and my Peeps had fun last night, what'd you do?

Parody Motivator Generator

2008-08-01T14:47:00.000-04:00

Parody Motivator Generator

The Worst of All Possible Vaginas by BC Woods

2008-07-31T14:52:00.006-04:00

OMG this is hilarious! Maybe we should take up a fund for this poor fellas psycho therapy, huh? From Violent Acres...

Excerpt from BC Woods;

"Heather was an assistant to a directional driller, an outfit that helped us to drill well holes at an angle. As fate would have it, I was the one who signed her in the front gate. Dark fate brought Heather and I together. Bonded our paths so that we would walk the same horrific road...

...It was the smell that hit me first. There was the slight odor of urine and syrup that composed Heather’s natural scent… but over and above that smell…"

Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl [Official Music Video]

2008-07-22T08:29:00.002-04:00

This song is the shit, I love it. This chick, well mark my words is gonna go places. My oldest son, who claims to have been a "black lesbian" in another life turned me on to this. Now, it is a toe tapper but let me know it you got up and danced?

Need More Fireworks???

2008-07-17T13:36:00.003-04:00

I don't know but this is kinda cool. You get to launch your own Fireworks over the Statue of Liberty. The kids love it, well, I've played with it too, I must admit. Check it out.

Release; Remembering James Bulgar and His Killers

2008-07-06T13:02:00.012-04:00

James Bulger

*Editor's Note; I received this in an email and found myself remembering this tragic murder. The email asks the reader to forward the email and add their signature, numbered at the bottom. I could not bring myself to sign it. Now I know my signature does not make or break it but when I am passionate/intent/enthralled about something, I must look at all angles.

I do imagine, if this had happened to my child, these two boys might not have made it to court. I most likely would have sniped them myself. If they had made it to court, I would have probably pressed for a Life sentence (Death Penalty in America) and would have a real hard time seeing any other form of Justice. Now, if I were the Mother of either one of these boys, these young defendants, of course I would be mortified but I would have unconditional love for my child. Separation from this further, maybe I'm the Auntie? Is there no second chance, I might ask? Is it possible that these boys did not understand the true ramifications of their crimes? I know it says that they'd done what they could to mask their crime which shows intent or rather a knowing of "right and wrong," right? But a child of that age, does he really and truly understand how heinous his act was? Does he comprehend just how life altering his act was? Could they absorb the very fact that what they'd done was real and they'd taken a life because of their actions? Let's face it, we have Laws in place as a deterrent for crime. They are not enacted simply for the sake of Justice but in hopes of, an ulterior preventive strategy. Could these children possibly put it all together, you know, the train of thought and measure that they'd get more than a spanking from Mum, for their actions? There were several factors that played a part in the "reasoning" phase of trying to understand this crime. I wish we had learned from it but all these years later, I can see that we have learned very little. It is worthy of note, that these boys, were exposed to violent movies, while one of the boys lived violence in the home. Taken out of this environment, is it possible to rehabilitate, to grow and mature, to comprehend the full magnitude of your crime? Upon that enlightenment is it possible for a true measure of remorse to be displayed?

When it's all said and done, why do we sentence people with the possibility of Parole unless we believe in rehabilitation?

I ask your opinion...

Do you remember February 1993 in England , when a
young boy of 3 was taken from a Liverpool shopping
center by two 10-year-old boys?
Jamie Bugler walked away from his mother for only
a second, Jon Enables took his hand and led him out
of the mall with his friend Robert Thompson. They took
Jamie on a walk for over 2 and a half miles, along the
way stopping every now and again to
torture the poor little boy who was crying
constantly for his mummy.

Finally they stopped at a railway track where they
brutally kicked him, threw stones at him, rubbed paint
in his eyes, pushed batteries up his anus and cut his
fingers off with scissors. Other mutilations were
inflicted but not reported in the press.

N.B. :- Remember, a 3year old cannot possibly
defend themselves against a 10 year old, let alone of 2 them.

What these two boys did was so horrendous that
Jamie's mother was forbidden to identify his body.
They then left his beaten small body on railway
tracks so a train could run him over to hide the mess
they had created. These two boys, even being boys,
understood what they did was wrong, hence trying to
make it look like an accident.

This week Lady Justice Butler-Sloss has awarded
the two boys ( now men ), anonymity for the rest of
their lives when they leave custody with new
identities. They will also leave custody early only
serving just over half of their sentence.
They are being relocated to Australia to live out
the rest of their lives. They disgustingly and
violently took Jamie's life away and in return they
each get a new life!

Please.... . If you feel as strongly as we do, (
and if you haven't already signed this petition ) that
this is a grave Miscarriage of justice - Hit the
forward button and add your name at the end, and send
it to everyone you can !

**There are several discrepancies within and surrounding this story, notably batteries were not placed in his anus but in his mouth. As well, they did not use scissors to cut the child's fingers off. What can we learn from this entire situation? What can we understand about ourselves, while looking in the mirror concerning our approach, our handling of this unfortunate act from the emails sent to the release of these defendants?
Further Reading;

'I don't doubt they'd have been ripped to shreds' Libby Brooks

Murder of James Bulger

2008)

[edit] External links

Listen to this article (info/dl)

This audio file was created from a revision dated 2007-02-18, and does not reflect subsequent edits to the article. (Audio help)

Overheard in N.Y.

2008-06-25T08:19:00.002-04:00

So Many Possible "Jam" and "Spread" Jokes--The Mind Reels
JAP #1: I hate boys who won't kiss you after you go down on them.
JAP #2: Yeah, I know. But I don't kiss boys after they go down on me.
JAP #1: That's awful! If he can handle it, you should too.
JAP #2: But it's so bitter! I'm just saying: if they sold a jam the flavor of my vagina, I would not buy it.

--27th & 5th
via Overheard in New York, Jun 22, 2008

Raw Video; Double Murderer Breaksdown???

2008-06-13T17:10:00.001-04:00

If you ask me, he looks like he's doing his damnedest to contain his laughter?
Sick Fuck!! Does he or does he not look like he's laughing?

The British man accused of fatally shooting his wife and infant daughter broke...

Raw Video: Accused double-murderer breaks down

Trainwrecks

2008-06-03T12:39:00.010-04:00

It was just so, uh, übersnarky. Bwahahaha, oh damn I just threw up in my mouth. Live, Learn, Laugh, Kill all those involved and let God sort 'em out, right? Well, maybe not the latter. Oh and I sure don't want to appear like I'm trying too hard to be tough, although I have noticed a rather leatheresquieness to my skin? Damn this menopause!
(How much ya wanna bet Xmichra is gonna chew my ass for reposting this? You guys must know by now that I just adore controversy, right?)

I have a really bad habit of saving everything, i.e. DOC's, Pics and so on. I have to go in now and again and weed through the bullshit, you know to free up the memory on my old computer.

Anywho, I found the Word DOC, in my files "Trainwrecks." A now defunct site, no longer in existence. Trainwrecks would review blogs they considered like a train wreck, you know something you don't want to look at but must. Similar to Rubbernecking, I suppose? Well, I was the target of one of their very last posts before Heaven Nose got a hold of them. Somehow they were even able to clear Google cached clean.

I do believe, credit for Trainwrecks derailment would go to Heaven Nose.

There was much adoodoo the following sites;

Paula Light (Personal Fav)

NYC Watchdog

Metafilter

The Jawa Report

The Pharma Law Blog

Odd Time Signatures

There is Nothing so Stable As Change

I do believe I learned from this and it made me a might stronger. I learned that if you put it out there, it'll possibly be toyed with, you know similar to how some old fat bastard sits and plays with his balls while running through the channels on the remote. I had to look in the mirror after reading some of the comments, the post itself was an eye opener. It showed me, if nothing else, just how I can/am perceived? I took offense to some things and some were true. I don't think I cared too awfully much to be told I was semi-illiterate? It's true, I do tend to abuse commas per my own Mama. It's true, I could never get a job as some editor, etc. etc. fucking etc. but the extremely hilarious part is I think they were referring to my blog profile, as they made mention of it. I wrote and I think it's still on there, in the section where it asks your favorite books; I can't read! Now what dumb ass would believe that if I actually wrote it. I do realize I did not measure up with those intellectual twits. I've managed to live with it all this time though.

Anywho, there was a lot of good controversy, my middle name, ya know? The comments were rather revealing in every respect, including the comments listed at the bottom of this post. As well, there were some eye openers in the comments in the *asterisk links below.

A lot has been revealed to me by looking at all this again. Yes, I can be an asshole but you'll either love me or hate me. Again, I can live with this and I realize that it's not important, it won't make or break me, any of it. Perception is everything, is it not? As well, I was caught in the moment and the barrage o'bullshit and may not have thanked those that were supportive. I thank ya kindly. You should know who you are!

Here's what I'd copied. I wish I'd copied the entirety of comments, good and bad. There were about 100+ and they were pretty interesting;

Trainwreck

December 6th, 2006

Your Mom’s Blog…

Posted by Garmonbozia in Uncategorized

…if your mom is some kind of racist, ex-junkie, ex-con, semi-illiterate, stupid-forwarded-pictures-and-jokes-loving psychotic.

Okay, so I would like to link to the individual entries, but the design is so bad that I don’t think I can. So here is my new favorite blog, Babs Bitchin. It seems she deleted her old blog, “Bitchin’ and Stuff” which of all things, other people read, and were wondering where it was when she created this one. Let us hope that us directing attention to her does not burst this thing of beauty.

I heartily encourage you to weed through the horrible design, dirty pictures, to find the gems, like the time she claims that her husband sent a nudie picture of her into Hustler’s Beaver Hunt, which was very unusual because of some Shocking Mystery Tattoo she has. Or, perhaps the most recent entry, where she threatens to beat up her doctor’s receptionist and then writes about it like, damn, those receptionists are so stuck up with their appointment-keeping and desk-using. There is even some writing as her dog and cat, to satisfy those of you who don’t care for human word salad.

62 Responses to ' Your Mom’s Blog… '

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1. anonymoose said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 4:56 pm

But is she a 46 year old high school freshman who spent 32 years as a teenage runaway?

2. OrangeOlive said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 5:05 pm

She has an advice blog. That’s awesome.

3. OrangeOlive said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 5:06 pm

http://askauntb.blogspot.com/

Sorry there.

4. gawking said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 5:23 pm

So she’s diagnosed as passive aggressive. Who knew there was an official code for being a jerk? And what does insurance cover? Your victims?

5. ilyka said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 5:28 pm

The snow dong card was . . . interesting.

6. rusty scissors said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 5:59 pm

perfection, pure perfection. I am about to go back for more, but I am dying to know why she was in prison.

7. OrangeOlive said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 6:04 pm

Forging prescriptions for painkillers, if I’m not mistaken.

8. wolfa said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 6:49 pm

Ilyka, eww.

Also, she has a medical info blog, too!

OrangeOlive, it’s probably that plus her other illegal drug use, cause people who just forge (personal) prescriptions can often get themselves off with some counselling/community service/etc.

9. Babsbitchin said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 7:22 pm

Well, well, well! How very interesting. I love my shock value, it does have it’s purpose. Yes, ex-junkie, ex-con, ex-biker, ex, ex, ex. Try not to be too pretentious, I can usually smell it.

10. Contrary said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 7:24 pm

I was going to say something snide and/or cutting about Babs, but I’m afraid she’ll take me out back and whup my ass.

I’ve only read the first post (doctor’s visit), but it was really kind of awesome.

“Don’t you just hate pretentious people? I happen to have an aversion to them and will go out of my way to explain this, completely. You know break it down in terms they won’t soon forget” and I smile real sardonically.”

I laughed, I cried, I checked my locks. I think Babs might be better than Kyle, if only because her brand of crazy is easier to read.

11. Dana said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 7:30 pm

Yeah, enough about this. Have you seen VA’s entry today? The fuck? In what universe do the people who like to see pictures of dooce’s kid holding a piece of shit also want to hear about child support and divorce? Seriously.

I wish VA would pick a friggen mission statement and stick to it. Do you make fun of other bloggers? OR do you talk about boring shit like your stepkids and what you and your brother thought of Supernany? OR are you going to give me some free assvice on how to get financially sound with a “portfolio” and what I should do when I begin to plan my divorce?

I personally loved it when she shat on others. But this crap, like the three part series on money–what the hell is that? I can’t be the only one who has started visiting her less, huh?

violentacres.com

12. Contrary said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 7:32 pm

From her profile:

Name::Babsbitchin
From::LONG ISLAND, N.Y., US
I’ve led a hard life, been imprisoned and battled Heroin addiction. I’d like to think I’ve learned something along the way.I’m an in your face, shoot from the hip, kinda gal. I’ll tell you the truth and then some. Putting your life into Perspective, One Day at a Time!

Also, in her profile, under ‘Favorite Books’, she says “I can’t read sorry! ”

Buh.

13. OrangeOlive said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 7:56 pm

“I laughed, I cried, I checked my locks. I think Babs might be better than Kyle, if only because her brand of crazy is easier to read.”

What do you think would happen, if Babs actually *met* Kyle?

14. crack my shit up said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 8:42 pm

That’s a good one, Orange. I bet the universe would explode with their polar opposite crazinesses combining to create a delecto-dolphintastic inferno.

That, or Kyle might die.

15. Brennn said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 8:50 pm

This might be one of my all-time favorites.

16. Contrary said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 8:51 pm

I think the ‘Kyle might die’ theory is a valid one.

Of course, maybe Kyle could see the good in Babs. Maybe they’d be good for each other. And also, maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.

17. Cathole said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 9:08 pm

Speaking of butt, is that a picture of a genuine a-hole on that entry…?

I hate it when I have to go to a “Long Island Jewish Hospital”. Other than the possible anti-Semitism, I kinda like her.

18. virago said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 9:12 pm

Yes, ex-junkie, ex-con, ex-biker, ex, ex, ex.

Jeri? Is that you, Jeri?

19. ilyka said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 9:53 pm

Of course, maybe Kyle could see the good in Babs.

That depends: Does Babs love God like, a LOT a lot? And we should probably find out what Babs thinks of Kyle first. So what do you think, Babs? Hit it or quit it?

Oh, and she can’t like Court TV. That’s a deal-breaker for ol’ Kyle.

20. Coach K said,

on December 6th, 2006 at 10:04 pm

Hey Cathole, Long Island Jewish is an actual hospital name. Lots of towns have a hand-to-g-d Jewish Hospital.

Not to divert the trainwreck … I’m thinking if Kyle made kissyface at Babs he’d end up with a shiv-o-licious to the midsectionalingadingdong.

21. chuck said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 1:10 am

i have no comment for you other than babs is my friend. good or bad she is my friend.

22. Uh No said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 3:20 am

I’m thinking if Kyle made kissyface at Babs he’d end up with a shiv-o-licious to the midsectionalingadingdong.

Heh. Good stuff.

i have no comment for you other than babs is my friend. good or bad she is my friend.

Since you seem confused, that’s bad. Really, really bad.

23. OrangeOlive said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 4:50 am

You know what? I like Babs, too. Really. She basically uprooted her life to help raise her autistic nephew. She’s overcome serious addiction and talks to high school kids about her experience - that takes balls. And her internet persona is some sweet, sweet trainwrecky goodness.

Yeah, I’d probably set up an email filter to catch those craptastic forwards, but Babs is pretty great.

24. twixmaster said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 5:59 am

I gotta thank Babs for having dug up the dick slippers and shared them with the world. Maybe my boss would like a pair for Christmas!

25. oshit said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 7:34 am

Hell yeah.
I get tired of the sissy-sappy blogs. I love a good kick arse blog on occasion. Babs sounds cool. She’s makin’ it. And thats more than i can say for some……..

26. Tina said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 7:55 am

from Babs comment section:

Babsbitchin said…
butchieboy, I read some of it and this Kyle character is someone I’m supposed to meet or some shit. I got a lot of hits from it, is that good or bad? Who knows?

27. Alison said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 9:18 am

Wouldn’t it be awesome if Babs had a voice like Principal Seymour Skinner’s mother?

28. MEP said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 9:35 am

I love it that Babs is barely interested in skimming over what our triflin’ asses have to say.

29. ChickenLiver said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 9:38 am

Chuck with friends like you, who needs enemies?! You’re either for or against your friends. Also by coming here and making that statement you’ve showed us that; when the people are done flogging her you’ll at least drag her body off the road. Nice.

30. loolybloo said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 9:53 am

I gotta hand it to Babs - she’s one tough-assed woman. I wouldn’t mess.

Did you get to the post where she shot her ex in the stomach — and then they were together for like 17 more years?

31. Jan said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 9:56 am

There’s so much to choose from, it’s hard, but this is my favorite so far from Babs:

“My son Bill is going to be a cop. Taking a battery of tests they asked him…

“What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”

In the blank space, he wrote, “Call for backup.”

I like her.

32. Beelzebub said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 12:00 pm

God, I freaking love her. I was totally going to comment yesterday that she looked rode hard and put away wet- and then today she beat me to it.

33. jewelly said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 12:09 pm

Wonderful! I have to admit, I like her, too.

34. Cathole said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 12:23 pm

Coach, thanks. I want to go to Long Island Jewish. Sounds like a classy joint, what with the likes of Babs running around - might be fun.

She should have her own show, like a cross between Dog the Bounty Hunter and Tyra on smack.

Say, I notice this is uncategorized. I wonder if there should be a category simply called “Babs.”

35. OrangeOlive said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 12:27 pm

Cathole, not only would I watch that show, I’d tape every single episode.

36. Garmonbozia said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 12:45 pm

I was not lying when I said that this was my new favorite blog.

Although I think the whole “I’m not racist” thing is kind of funny, what with the racist joke posted on there. Not to mention the juxtaposition of said “ha ha, Indians have dots on their forehead and run convenience stores” joke with the whole “I will try not to laugh at your expense” thing.

Oh, and the advice column is awesome.

37. Haden S. Powell said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 1:10 pm

Cunt

38. jewelly said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 1:19 pm

Now whaddaya suppose Mr. Powell means by that?

39. Sourpuss said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 2:21 pm

I have to admit that Babs is a bit on the trainwrecky side, but I actually sorta like her. She is quite straightforward with her crazy past and seems to want to make light of it, and doesn’t seem to take herself all too seriously. And anyone who explains themselves as rode hard and put up wet… well, really, how can you not love that? She is freaking hysterical.

As for what Dana was saying in regards to VA, I wholeheartedly agree. That bitch doesn’t have a clue as to what little soapbox to get on. I personally liked the kid-eating-shit-soapbox. This new one about deadbeat dads and getting rich quick… it’s just so blah.

40. Bobo the Chimp said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 2:53 pm

I think Mr. Powell means to call us all some names, jewelly.

That Babs, she’s my kinda woman.

41. Stef said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 3:28 pm

I love this woman and kind of want her to move to my neighborhood.

42. jewelly said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 3:39 pm

Call US names!? Well, I never. . . now that I know, my feelings are all hurt.

There are a number of sites I frequent in order to observe the trainwreck and I don’t give a second’s thought to the fact that I’m giving them much-wanted traffic or hits by doing so.

Violent Acres is not one of those sites. I haven’t been since it jumped the shark because I want to do my part in trying to make it just go the fuck away already.

43. jewelly said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 3:41 pm

(Also, I’m kind of sad that Mr. Powell’s link isn’t really to his blog.)

44. OrangeOlive said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 3:56 pm

jewelly, Mr. Powell’s blog is…really something else.

45. jewelly said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 4:03 pm

OrangeOlive, THANK YOU and I love you. I love you so much that I shall now refer to you as my little sugarpigtits.

I mean it, except for that second sentence.

46. brotherray said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 4:19 pm

I really like trains. Why would you lynch a train? Let me ask - are you the great philosoplizer of the great contropolizer in the bloggaweiser with heavy metal altoids on your taco bell salad vaporizer? Really? You have to wait long enough - long enough to sing along. Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Lad, a rich moutaineer always kept his family mad, and then one day he was shooting at the shads, and up through the ground come a bubbling Babs. Bitch, that is, Good Bitch, NY style.

47. jewelly said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 4:26 pm

I… um…

wow.

48. wanderer said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 4:51 pm

Kyle’s a twin. Who knew?

49. anonymoose said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 4:53 pm

“midsectionalingadingdong”

Coach, you know that should be a sparklo-shivdiglio to the midsectionalezza.

50. jewelly said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 5:08 pm

So I guess Kyle really would be Babs’ type.

51. hmmmm said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 7:04 pm

is mr powell for real a tough guy? babs, I believe. babs, I buy. mr. powell reads like a nerdowannabebadass or, worse, some effete trying for the rhythm of that tough-boy street language. Like James Frey. Literary.

52. hmmmm said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 7:09 pm

The one handed egg cracking story. Now that’s something. Would look right in the New Yorker or some literary kind of journal. Yo, Powell! The New Yorker pays major bucks, I’m not kidding.

53. crack my shit up said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 7:19 pm

HAHAHA, you are all cracking me the hell up! Or maybe that’s because I’m completely drunk. I love alcohol.

Goodnight.

54. old knudsen said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 8:35 pm

Snobby twats with the humour value of a dead cat picking at my mate for their own amusement, you are so much better than her (that was sarcastic ya stupid cunts) Babs is really such a difficult target she does all the work for you. I’m not very impressed, I’ve wasted enough time thinking about you lot.

55. Bananas said,

on December 7th, 2006 at 11:08 pm

old knudsen - why you gettin all uppity? The people here LIKE babs. They like her wit and honesty for the most part. It’s like, a compliment. Dude. Also, I am so totally not snobby.
I once bought a book titled “101 things to do with a dead cat” It was very funny. Did you know you could use their butt for a pencil sharpener?

56. Eden said,

on December 8th, 2006 at 7:48 am

Knud is pretending to be British. His next comment will probably invoke spotted dick.

57. Baabs' #1 Fan said,

on December 8th, 2006 at 7:57 am

One hellofa gal our Baabs is..she makes us proud on a daily…nay scratch that..on a bi-daily basis.

58. jewelly said,

on December 8th, 2006 at 9:34 am

Baaaaaabs.

Does the flock of sheep joke go here or should I wait?

59. Bobo the Chimp said,

on December 8th, 2006 at 11:39 am

Bananas, do you have something against spotted dick? My dick is totally spotted.

60. Bananas said,

on December 10th, 2006 at 3:12 am

Actually, I get kinda spotty at times myself. Bobo, don’t you know bananas and chimps go together like peas and carrots?

61. Listerine said,

on December 11th, 2006 at 7:48 am

I liked Babs at first, but after reading through her blog a little bit more it just reads as forced and exaggerated. *I’m old and tough!!!!. I’m old and tough!!!! I’m old and tough!!!!!* I just feel like she has something to prove *rollseyes*.

62. Babsbitchin said,

on December 11th, 2006 at 9:56 am

Listerine, I’m not bad but the bad send me Christmas cards every year. I’m not trying to prove anything. I may make a point or two when need be. Yes, I am getting too old to fight, so I gotta shoot. Such is life. Now, take your lame ass back to your lame existence and leave me to my toughness and exaggerated life.
*rolls eyes and gives the finger*

RePost from Babz Bitchin

Sunday, December 31, 2006

HEAVEN NOSE vs TRAINWRECK

If you remember, a minute ago, I was blasted by Trainwreck, a cloistered society of wannabe hooligans. My pal in Canada, someone we all know and love, sent me a link, to another site that was a slap back and I found "Heaven Nose" from there. I liked it so much, I placed them on my sidebar.
It's obvious that these Trainwreck/Winter Rack folks are one to dish it out but they can't take it. Let me just say, "I never draw first blood," but I will Bitch slap a motherfucker when you least expect it. Of course, they'll have a snappy comeback about how illiterate and racist I am. You're gonna have to get up a little earlier to really dig in and get under my skin. See, unlike them, I am able to look in the mirror and see myself just as I am," an aging droopin' tit, graying, lil chunky, not genius,not so brilliant, racy, ex con, ex junkie, reformed bad Mom/Grandma who says what I mean, mean what I say and try not to say it mean." I do say things, some may take offense but it is because you choose to take offense. Get the fuck over it. Being PC is so lame. Hitting below the belt is one thing but if you're fighting the good fight and being fair and truthful, slapping the meat on the plate for all to see and I do call it like I see it, then you decide, "Oh my, I just don't like to look at the truth," then get the fuck out, go hide in a hole like Saddam did or get over it.

Yes, even Babz Bitchin is a study in thy self and to thy self be true . I've grown, I hope. I do maintain, my edge and "truthworthiness." I still don't believe I'm a racist but if you'd like to call me that because I call a spade a spade, then that's your prerogative. I spell it like this; There is under no uncertain terms, trash in every race, creed, color, sexual preference and I am able to see this. Hell, let it be dually noted that I have been called white trash, a redneck a time or two and I can and will live with myself.

I wrote, on this subject;

*A Trainwreck, Huh???

*Racist, Hmm??

*Straight Up

*Running With Hedgeclippers

*One Last Word

*Heaven Nose vs Trainwrecks

and last but not to say the least, my dearest friend, Xmichra gave me hell for writing or rather linking about it and them. My girl X is so enchanting, now ain't she. I got mad love for her

8 comments:

xmichra said...: I can't beleive that you linked to trainwreck. I know Old K wants to BE the guy they always talk about on that blog. But wow. Not my cup of tea. If you can't write a blog about your own shit, well that just says alot about you. And it isn't good.; December 13, 2006 12:20 PM
Babsbitchin said...: Xmichra, I hadn't thought about it. But I agree with you.
See how ya are, always sassin' yer elders, hahahaha! Only you X, only you!; December 13, 2006 7:13 PM
xmichra said...: lol, i don't mean too !! honest! i just have a mind. And sometimes it works ;); December 13, 2006 11:41 PM
Babsbitchin said...: Xmichra, no one, certainly not me, would ever deny that you have a mind AND a tongue that will speak your piece/peace. Are you sure you're not my daughter? lol; December 13, 2006 11:45 PM
xmichra said...: Why, are you missing one?? lol...

Trust me, when i was younger.. my mother would have gladly given that responcibility up to someone, anyone! hehe. I was always like this. I'm actually nicer. :); December 14, 2006 1:51 AM
Babsbitchin said...: Xmichra, you remind me when I was young, you do. Now, I've softened on one hand, hardened on another. You have my respect, regardless.; December 14, 2006 8:28 AM
xmichra said...: Thanks for that. And that is recipricated. It takes a good standing mind to be able to argue and debate, get heated and be open.. and it takes a lot for someone to respect those qualities in another. Most of the time, people who are just like me, hate me. Usually because it is hard to deal with two big voices in the room.. lol.; December 14, 2006 11:16 PM
Babsbitchin said...: Xmichra, yes, it takes one to know one. That's why I always carry ear plugs, lol!; December 15, 2006 6:34 AM

Cheney to Apologize to W.V.

2008-06-03T09:45:00.005-04:00

WASHINGTON — Vice President Dick Cheney threw a verbal insult at West Virginians on Monday, but quickly apologized.

Talking about his family roots and how he's distantly related to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, the vice president noted that he had Cheneys on both sides of his family.

"And we don't even live in West Virginia," Cheney quipped.

"You can say those things when you're not running for re-election."

West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin, a Democrat, quickly asked Cheney to apologize.

"I truly cannot believe that any vice president of the United States, regardless of their political affiliation, would make such a derogatory statement about my state or any state for that matter," he said.

Editor's Note; Now, they need to leave those West Virginians alone. Hell, they're doing everything they can do boost the tourist attractions and have even passed a recent law for just that purpose. Governor Joe Manchin (D) announced last week that a new ruling would make it illegal for West Virginians to place their garbage in black trash bags. "We want the good people of W.V. to use clear garbage bags, from this day on. It will enhance their window shopping experience."

(PS, I'm from Virginian and I'm not sorry to say, I get real offended when people say, "Oh, you're from West Virginia?" Oh hell no!)

WHATCHA GONNA DO WIT DEM SHOES???

2008-05-31T08:44:00.008-04:00

Repost from Babz Bitchin

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Xmichra Mistress of Dark (tehe) sent me these cool pictures of Japan's latest! I'm fond of the last pair. Back in the day, I'd work those Bitches!! Which ones would you wear???

Pocket Emo

2008-05-30T07:40:00.002-04:00

(Damn, I missed the boat. Will they have another Beatdown Day, next year? By the way, the site I got this picture from, "The Hot Crew" on this particular post, has exactly 666 comments. Too wierd for me folks!)
This post of the Pocket Emo is from Sept. 2007. Why in God's Name do I get at least a hit, if not more, a day for this damn thing? Can anyone really tell me WTF is up?

This is a "must have" for all teens and pre-teens. Wanna be a groovy cool cat/daddio? Be a good parent and get your kid one today...

(Yes, I'm extremely lazy and stole this from myself as posted on Babz Bitchin)

5 Rules for Women

2008-05-17T00:03:00.002-04:00

FIVE RULES FOR WOMEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It’s important to have a man, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. And One who doesn't bitch too much about doing it.

2. It’s important to have a man, who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to have a man, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a man, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four men do not know each other.

Free Text Messages

2008-05-16T11:12:00.002-04:00

You can send free Text Messages from this website. I tried it and it does work. Give it a whirl just for shitz-n-giggles.

Chill...

2008-05-02T05:58:00.000-04:00

Want one?

Drew Hastings; Erotic Asphyxiation/Starbucks Clitoris

2008-04-27T09:13:00.007-04:00

This made me laugh like hell. Well, I saw Drew Hastings stand-up routine on Comedy Central (there's more on this page)last night. Snot slingin funny!

Erotic Asphyxiation

Starbucks Clitoris

Yes he's a funny motherfucker and believe it or not, I'd do him. I don't know about that choking gig, though. Nope, I ain't into all that kinky stuff, you know S & M. I'm not into pain, i.e. nipple clamps, butt plugs, (yes butt plugs are in the pain category, at least as far as I'm concerned. Yep, ya wanna play "Rodeo?" Go ahead and stick one of those up my Dirty Road and try to hang on for 8 seconds?). You might get away with a good swat across my bare ass but anything else...well, I can't be held accountable...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm???

2008-04-22T13:55:00.004-04:00

I found this on "Dirty Bitch General," Xmichra's blog and clicked the button. I tried all my blogs out on it and they all said;

This blogs reading level is College (Undergrad)

Then I tried this one and it said;

Movie Reviews

Should I feel insulted, I don't know?

Happy Birthday Wam

2008-04-13T09:24:00.009-04:00

Stop by Wam's MySpace page and tell him...

Happy Birthday!!!

(Go here and read)

Men Are Better Than Women??? Oh Really???

2008-04-09T11:29:00.007-04:00

First I want to apologize to one and all as I've moved, my email address changed but duh, I didn't change my email for comment notification. I didn't know you guys had commented thus no comments back. I do so try to keep up and will be writing about some of your comments because I think they were pretty interesting. But business first;

Remember the post I wrote, (I was soooooooooo pissed off I coulda spit nails)awhile back about Men Are Better Than Women's Dick "Masterbaitor" Masterson? This shit is worth (I think?) refreshing your memory about and you can read it here.

Dickless Masterson came to Babz Bitchin and left some off the wall, unnecessary comment and it pushed me over the edge. yea, I went there and went off the deep end I was so pissed. Long story short, all his cronies and a few of my peeps argued back and forth for weeks, after that. It got rather ugly as they stated they wanted to "ass rape me" and on and fucking on. Oh yea, the comments were rather distasteful, annoying and plain old ignorant beyond ignorant.

Anywho, the whole point of this post is; I was and am completely floored that Dick Masterson was actually on The Dr. Phil Show. Imagine that? I do believe it is not because people side with him and his vast array of bullshit but because they are mesmerized by the very fact that this dude has the audacity to say all this shit in public. I will find it humorous when I read when some Dirty Bitch snipes his ass. Per chance, do you drive a Hummer, Dick?

Men Are Better Than Women
The world's biggest chauvinist sat down with Dr. Phil recently; hear what he had to say.

Dear Dick, You have proved to the world, that you are an idiot, not to mention an extremely ugly person. Rot, Rot Away!

More On the Matter;

In My Perfect World Xmichra has got to be one of my favorite people and I happen to believe we're pretty tight. I respect her opinion, always have and always will. She shoots from the hip, just like I do but she's a younger version. What do you think; Am I giving this guy props you and I know he doesn't deserve? After I'd read her comment, I'd thought of deleting the whole post but couldn't bring myself to do it. I do admit, Xmichra often makes more sense and can be rather level headed. I do admit, on one hand that she's probably right but I just want the world to know what an asshole chauvinist pig piece of shit looks like, up close and personal.

So, am I giving this guy undue attention?

Xmichra said...

why do you insist on pluggin him then Bab??

You know i love your site and what you stand for, but linking to this fuckwad gives him way more attention then he ever desirved.

Just let it go.

Sun Apr 13, 05:27:00 PM 2008

TV Links; Watch Online for Free

2008-04-08T09:10:00.001-04:00

Download , watch online free on Tv-links.eu

I thought this was a really cool link. You can watch TV shows, movies, cartoons, anime and sports, all online.

Did you miss that episode of That 70's Show or Seinfeld? Didn't get to see all the Saw movies? Now, you can watch them here. Too cool, huh?

David Blaine; Street Magic/Parody

2008-04-04T14:17:00.003-04:00

This is so hilarious. I think I'd posted it before but it's funny enough to post again.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

21 Accents

2008-03-27T17:44:00.001-04:00

The Hip on the Shite

2008-03-24T10:39:00.003-04:00

I don't smoke it but I found this rather interesting...

Why is marijuana illegal? In twenty words or less:

"Reefer makes darkies think they're as good as white men."

Those were the words of the guy who outlawed it.[1]

The current situation, in nineteen words:

Marijuana is illegal so that we can arrest poor people for no good reason.

Marijuana is harmless.

The end.

Just Crazy

2008-03-07T11:19:00.013-05:00

G4 Shows

Talk about some crazy shit, if you've not watched Ninja Warrior, Unbeatable Banzuke or Super Big Product Fun Show, I suggest you give it a whirl. Those damn Japs sure know how to act like complete imbeciles on The Super Product Show and I laughed my ass off. The Unbeatable Banzuke and Ninja Warrior are just out and out entertaining as they compete against each other in strength and agility challenges.

Normally, I'd never even think to watch any one of these shows. My son Bill turned me onto them. Up until now, I'd never even seen or noticed the channel for gamers as well, I'd never even seen anyone playing XBox but it's pretty impressive. I just can't wait to play Guitar Hero and show 'em all just how retarded I can be!

Jane Child/Don't Wanna Fall in Love

2008-02-24T18:46:00.002-05:00

One Fierce Official Dirty Bitch

The 411/The Skinny

2008-02-24T10:16:00.006-05:00

The pic has nothing to do with the post but hey, when you have a sick sense of humor, you must share, right?

I found( my son Bill turned me onto it so I've already told one lie for today, whoops) this really kick ass Program. I have a hacked version of Tuneup Utilities and it put that to shame. Bill is my IT Hack Mac Daddy. Try this out, it's safe and it'll improve your computer right quick. Yep, you'll be happier than a pig in shit. Let me know how many problems you have on your computer. Yep, this is a double dog dare. Can you hang?

Advanced WindowsCare Personal v2.6.0.835

It's Just Madonna

2008-02-20T07:44:00.008-05:00

Had you forgotten about this classic pose? I had until...

A story went out, yesterday that a man had in possession, a photo of Marylin Monroe, nude hitch hiking.

I had really hoped that the story was true. I was actually disappointed, when I read this a.m., that it was not, in fact Marilyn Monroe...

So learned a Las Vegas man who alerted the media this week that he thought he had his hands on a rare photo of Marilyn Monroe posing nude as a hitchhiker. What he had was a famous photo of Madonna.
Read the Rest...

Darwin Awards

2008-02-15T13:23:00.002-05:00

Ya gotta love it. The reason I even went to the Darwin Awards was because of this story about founding band member, Terry Kath of Chicago. He died of an accidental self-inflicted gunshot wound. Very unfortunate as I thought he was a true, undisputed talent.

I got to reading and rooting around and came across this story which I happen to remember. Amongst others, I found some rather intrigueing and could read for hours, especially one in particular that I had read some time ago. It is the story of the death of one, Ron Opus which is considered an Urban Legend. Who Knows? But it's one helluva story even concocted.

(Authors Note: I do not believe in Darwin's Theory of Evolution but do so love these Awards)

NYC Condoms

2008-02-15T09:47:00.006-05:00

I used to keep condoms in a big Candy Dish right on a telephone stand I had in the hallway. They sat right there at the front door. I would get them free from the Needle Exchange in Buffalo, NY. The neighborhood kids knew they could take them. While I did make them readily available, I also let them know that I did not condone it, for all the obvious reasons but if the necessary evils took control, they were there.
Was I wrong for providing my boys with condoms?

NY Times on Condoms

Dirty Bitch Society Asks???
Should Parents Provide Condoms?

Absolutely!
Hell No!
Only A Bad Parent
Only A Good Parent

view results

Vote

2008-02-12T07:32:00.002-05:00

Dirty Bitch Society Asks???
My Eyes Went To...

Her Lips
Her Boobs
The Mic Turns Me On
The Bad Fashion

Check Results

Big Mouth

2008-02-07T19:36:00.001-05:00

Damn Gina, now that's a big mouth!!!

WayBack Machine

2008-02-07T07:48:00.000-05:00

If you are not familiar with WayBack Machine it has a huge archive, 85 billion webshots, saved looks, at old Websites & Blogs. I decided to look at some
Bitchin & Stuff posts. This is actually my third or fourth blog as I didn't know a thing about what I was doing, especially when it came to HTML codes. I screwed things up terribly as I would save the changes instead of previewing it first. Next thing ya know, I'd messed it all up beyond repair. That blog was also hacked. One morning I went to the site, after I'd gone away and there was nothing but an empty white page.

It's funny how far I've come as I notice back then that I typed in Caps quite often. I needed new glasses and it was easier for me to see the type when it was in caps. I had no idea that it meant you were conveying anger or whatever until it was pointed out to me.

I found this post, which I find a tad humorous:

Live, Love, Learn
You know I was born laughing, thus I want everybody else to.

This is part an article that was on MSN today about Hiring and Industry. I, of course, have to add my 2 cents.

While what you wear to work depends on your industry, company, geographic region and the activities you have planned for the day, most image consultants and corporate executives agree that there are basic standards everyone should follow. Here are 15 things that are never a good idea:

1. Underwear as outerwear. Camisoles or visible bra straps and lingerie scream "eek!" not "chic!" ~I agree. Any bitch that walks in and looks better than me in lingerie ain't gettin' hired.

2. Workout gear. Save your muscle shirts and spandex for the gym.
~I disagree. If he's cute and muscular and I can see his package through his spandex, well, it's a tell tale sign he's equiped for the job.

3. Soiled, stained or rumpled clothing. Neatness counts. Better to wear less expensive clothing that is immaculately cleaned and pressed than to sport designer grunge.
~ I agree. I sure as hell don't want to hire you if you didn't have the courtesy to change your clothes after that last party. You woke up and came to the interview with me and now your openly mocking the fact that I wasn't at your fucking party. Go to hell, next time you'll think before you forget to invite me, won't you!

4. Shorts. Whether of the Bermuda or Daisy Duke variety, wearing shorts to work is just plain wrong.
~I agree. Especially if your one of those sleazy bitches with your ass cheeks hanging out or your thongs visible at the top of your low cut shorts. I get really homicidal and want to take your thong and wrap it around your show off throat. When your ass sags and your tits droop like mine you'll understand. Bermuda shorts, shit, unless you've got really cute hairy legs and the rest of the body to go with it. You're best bet, at least for me to hire you, is to wear just a jock strap underneath a nice London Fog coat and accidentally allow it to open slightly.

5. Tattoos. Celebrities like Angelina Jolie have made tattoos seem almost mainstream, but many people are still put off by them. Best to keep yours under wraps or disguised with a heavy spray-on makeup made expressly to conceal tattoos.
~I disagree. If you have tattoo's why would you wanna work at a place that you had to spray-on makeup? Tattoo's tell a story, tell who you are, where you've been, where you wanna be. I'll hire you if you show me your tattoo and give me a good story why you got it. Angelina Jolie gave tattoo's a bad rap and I'd like to fatten her lip a little more. Who gives a shit about her?

6. Extreme hair color. Natural looking highlights are fine, but never dye your hair blue, magenta or other colors not found in nature.
~Some of the most creative people have extreme color in their hair. It's a statement and it says,
"I'm not a perfect person but I'm sure as hell colorful and creative enough to not be a plain asshole corporate ass suck as yourself." Once again...don't judge the book by the cover cause there's probably a real good, inventive, imaginitive and creative story here.

7. Too much cologne. A strong scent is a turnoff to most people. Best to forgo fragrance and opt for the clean smell of soap.
~ I agree. There's absolutely no reason to bathe in your cologne. Are you trying to hide some funk? And the women who wear perfume, "their signature," that's all fine and dandy you cheap whore but I don't want to taste your signature or smell it a half hour after you've left the room. Then there's always the ones who do buy a bottle of nice perfume and cologne. Then they wear the shit everyday, fogging up my world and breathing space. Keep it for the evening and at a minimum. And remember the old adage i taught my boys a long time ago: If it smells like cologne, leave it alone. If it smells like fish eat all you wish, it's a nice dish.

8. Long, fake or wild-colored nails. Keep your nails short and neat. Avoid nail decals, black polish or "Elvira" length nails.
~I agree. First of all, I don't know how sanitary you are but I know in the food business or life in general, really long fingernails mean hiding dirt, germs and yuk. But more importantly, how dare they bad mouth, "Elvira." She was my only idol growing up and I wanted to spin my pasty tassels with the expertise she was able to demonstrate. Let's see their corporate wanna be wall street ass do that! And if you wear black nail polish, you don't wanna work at their stinkin' place anyway!

9. Grungy beards. In general, most companies prefer clean-shaven men to, say, ZZ Top. If you just can't part with your facial hair, at least keep it neatly trimmed. (And for gosh-sakes check in the mirror after eating that powder-sugared doughnut!)
~I agree. I like a rugged man with a beard and many gay men I know love that," dick target," I've heard it called. If you're a ZZ Top kinda guy, you're not applying for a job at some posh, upper crust office anyway. No, you're probably an ex-husband of mine and you're too busy riding your motorcycle, selling drugs, stock piling guns and stealing bikes and you don't need a job.

10. Micro-miniskirts. Make sure there is no more than three or four inches between knee and hem. You want to be able to sit without giving a peep show.
~I disagree. Well, I happen to like a peep show. I'm an ol' spanner. But I don't want to see the junk in your trunk at work. Ask for my phone number and I'll call you after work. See, I can be reasonable.

11. Overly revealing attire. Too little is too much. Breasts, back and arms should be covered. Avoid overly snug fits by making sure there is at least one inch of room between body and fabric.
~I agree. If you've got it flaunt it, won't cut it, if you want me to hire you.But I don't think you have to dress like an Amish woman to get a job either. Now, if you're a real plus size gal, well, I really don't want to be distracted by counting your rolls either. Wear something that enhances your figure like a moo moo, not really. But wear something not form fitting or hugging.

12. Athletic socks with street shoes. Men, the devil's in the details. People notice these things!
~I agree. You should be reemed for this and I have a few friends who'd volunteer for the mission. W/O KY.

13. Body piercings. Studies show that most people view body jewelry as unprofessional and that people with multiple piercings are less likely to be hired or promoted.
~I disagree. If you judge a person by their piercings, you're a pious, frustrated, judgmental, never lived asshole who is the type who of person that is probably someone I'd never again work for. My boss in Pittsburgh made me take out my nose ring," Because I was the Manager of Wholesale/Retail and an example of our store. You represent us." And he's a fine example of a loser anyway.He cheats, steals, adds to their billing extra and sends them stale stuff. He is sending Hilton Hotel the Bagels left over from the end of the day. Hilton, can you believe that stupidity? He has never lived, never loved, never leapt into the unknown.

14. Bare midriff. Make sure there is at least one-inch of room between body and fabric and that your shirt it is long enough to conceal your midriff. Let your clothes show off your good taste -- not your six-pack abs.
~If it's a chick, I'm jealous so I won't hire you. If it's a guy, you must show me that part just below your belly button that has that cut on each side of your hips. Then, I'll hire you and...

15. Low-rise pants. "Plumber's crack" is not acceptable anywhere. Period.
~I agree. But what is this bitch doing to see this shit? asking them to get on all fours and bark like a fucking dog?

Finally, as a rule of thumb: If you have any doubt whether something you have on is appropriate -- go back and change.
~I agree that this is the dumbest whore who ever put on a strap-on and pretended to be a hiring genius. She must have ADD and can't concentrate on the merit or resume of the individual. I'd be willing to bet money, she's a fat old hog, who isn't married and owns 20 cats. She never gave a blow job and if she did, she didn't swallow.

In conclusion; if you're trying to get a snappy job in corporate America, take her advice. But if you're not...paint your nails black, get a Prince Albert, spike your hair and color it Magenta.

A Sad Case of A Liar

2008-02-06T11:43:00.000-05:00

That's it & that's all...

Dirty Butt???

2008-02-05T10:48:00.001-05:00

I just couldn't help it...

Uh Huh!

2008-02-04T18:02:00.000-05:00

Never Trust Mama

2008-02-03T09:03:00.001-05:00

This morning, I awoke thinking of my oldest son, Lee. He'd been here for a visit over Christmas. Poor thing had a miserable cough, I mean the kind that'll keep you up and not allow you to really sleep.

Now, I live in the basement apartment of my sister's house. Everybody was asleep upstairs. So, I crept up to her bathroom, knowing she had a bottle of Tussionex/Tussinex?, in the linen closet.We used to call this syrup, taken along with a Barbiturate, maybe a Purple Pickle/Placidyl or Tuinal, "Pancakes & Syrup," when you combined the two

Who'da Thunk It???

I carefully and quietly opened the linen closet, focused on the little brown bottle, copped-n-rolled, crashed-n-dashed and quietly made my way back to my apartment, doing my damnedest not to wake anybody. I'd been sleeping on the Futon upstairs, during Lee's stay as he snores like a crazed Banshee might and I'd wanted to spare the rest of the house,as well, even though I sleep with ear plugs and have for years, Lee and the dog, Brady both snore. Thus it was a better idea for me to allow Lee to have my place and I go upstairs in lil sissies house.. So, I wake in the morn and go down to my place and get on the computer, all the while, Lee was oblivious to my presence.

Open Wide

As I sat there, he was coughing, just terribly. I felt really bad for him. With cough syrup in hand, I'd grabbed a big ass tablespoon and went back into my bedroom where Lee was sleeping. I tried to wake him and finally he roused after my 20 attempts at waking the dead. "Here take this cough syrup," I poured and administered two gigantic tablespoons of the cough preparation. "Eeeeeeeew, what is that shit," Lee asked me with a look of horror, a ready to puke face. He took the bottle from me and strained to read the writing on the bottle with half awake eyes. "Albuterol, I've heard of that." I grabbed the bottle from his hand and read it out loud myself, "Albuterol, oh fuck spit it out." Much to my dismay, there was no turning back and definitely no spitting it out.

Never Trust Mama

"WTF, WTF," I kept saying. He asked me what was wrong with me? I must have looked like a crazed retard as I stood there and all I could say was , "What the Fuck?" I'd forgotten that the bottle of Albuterol was up there. All I remembered, in the plastic box, my sister keeps her meds in, was the Tussinex. "Damn, damn, damn," was the next set of words I was able to get out, along with the beginnings of, "I'm sorry, damn, I'm sorry." I must've acted pretty retarded as Lee just laughed at me. Oh yea, it's all fun and games till mama gives you the wrong medicine, huh?

Crapping Glass

The Albuterol actually seemed to help, thank God and Lee fell right back to sleep for about another hour. When he woke, I went out back with him, to smoke a cigarette. We were watching the squirrels play, they're like crazed gymnasts around here, they're every where. I didn't see the woodpecker he was trying to tell me about, so he was pointing at the tree. Oh shit, he was shaking so badly, like a cat shitting peach pits, a dog shooting a pine cone out of his ass, a man crapping glass. You get the picture, right?

I still feel bad about that incident. I mean, if you can't trust Mama, who can you trust???Dirty Bitch

MeMe in the Mirror

2008-01-28T08:32:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by the Teacher of all Teachers, the witty and effervescent, Madame Blog-Blond. Go read her answers to this MeMe. I think you'll find them quite amusing and actually more thought provoking than mine. Yes, like her eyes, that MeMe is a window to her soul.

1. I LOVE TO EAT:
Cheese Danish. Good God I love these things. I worked as GM of a Bakery and could take things home at nite. I'd put extra sugar glaze on. It's a good thing I don't work there anymore and have now managed to lose 25lbs. But if I have Intel and they offered me these bad boys, you know as a bribe, I might tell all...

2. I HATE TO EAT:
Liver & Onions, Yuk, Fuck! I was told I make a mean liver and onions as I had to cook it for menu's, in restaurants. The secret is to only braise it. If you over cook it, it's apparently rather nasty. But the challenge for me was to cook it without puking. Oh, my poor gag reflex!

3. I LOVE TO GO:
To the Casino on Seneca Nation Reservation where I used to live. It was not open when I lived there. I went with my son, Lee, this past August. They had a kick ass buffet and then we went on to play Slot Machines. You can sit there, drink, smoke-n-joke, right at your machine. The charged atmosphere along with the Company of my son and his husband made for a memorable time.

4. I HATE TO GO:
For Medical tests, especially an Electromyography (EMG). This is for sure the most torturesque test they can do to you. I've had to have three of them. First they test your nerves with this thingy that zaps your nerve. A radiographic image shows how your nerve reacts to the stimuli. Then, as if that's not enough, they take these long needles and stick them into you, searching for the nerve, digging, poking, prodding. You have three nerves in your arms, did you know that? They start at the hand and work their way up to your neck, testing the nerves by digging around or rather poking and prodding, watching the radiograph reaction, as they hit on the nerve with the needle. I swore and called that son of a bitch everything but a Pakistani. I did ask him if he studied at the prestigious,
Adolf Hitler Institute or if he took his testing gear to parties, for entertainment? I called him a "Cock Monkey." I later apologized, not for swearing but the lack of originality, in my choice of words.

5. I LOVE IT WHEN:
I get calls from all three of my sons and my daughter. I'm hundreds of miles from any one of them and of course, I'm one nosey bitch and have to know what's going on. I'm also a worry wart so to hear from them and know everybody's ok, allows me to sleep at nite. But most of all, I love to play, touch and caress...my Grandbabies feet. Don't ask me why I love baby feet but I do. I must work to get to a place where I can do this. I aspire to go into real semi-retirement and just be a goofy Grandma. Yep, I wear the grandma name rather well. No, I'm not your average Grandma with the tight blue perm, moo moo?, hush puppies and knee high panty hose. No, I'm more apt to wear, on an average day, either sweat pants or camo's, black cargo pants and black T-Shirt and boots. If I could, I'd wear a T-Shirt that said, "G-Ma," as my Granddaughter, Jessie calls me.

6. I HATE IT WHEN:
You're in a hurry at the grocery store. Every aisle you go up, has some old biddy blocking your way. This is the high lite of their day and they're relishing these moments, studying the box content, reading every fucking label and mindlessly, with great abandon, leaving their cart in the middle of the aisle. I have stated, in my campaign speech, you know the one where I'm running for President(I will ask for your votes)that when I am sworn into office, I will promise to make it legal to Taser mindless assholes. A perfect example, the afore mentioned shopper, which you will find anywhere, anytime of day, all across the U.S. Don't you believe they will most certainly re-think the way they shop, if they are finally dealt with? Yes, if it's legal to taser them for being an absent minded, selfish prick, the world as we know it would/will change. Read my theory here on the prior post.

7. I LOVE TO SEE:
A good concert. It's been far too long but I've been going to concerts since I was 12 when I saw David Bowie at the Roller Rink in Springfield, Va. That concert along with Eric Clapton's Journeyman Tour in 1995? were the only concerts I was ever at, where I was stone cold sober. Clapton kicked my ass! I was at the Smoke-In, on the Wash. Monument grounds in D.C., way back in 1972-73? Anyway, they had all these bands playing. That day, we were all smoking good weed, all the while Park Mounted Police units were canvassing the area. I mean we had bongs and pipes and my personal favorite, a joint rolled in Strawberry papers. Yes, those were the good ol days but as these bands played, I remember saying to this guy who was with us, "Hey, who are those dudes playing, they suck?" It was the Rolling Stones, haha! Who'da thunk it???

8. I HATE TO SEE:
I hate to see hate. If you give respect, you should get respect. Respect is a huge word. It's bigger than the likes of, Faggot, Nigger, Kike, Cracker,Wop, Beaner, Sand Jockey, Dirty Bitch and so on. If we gave each other respect, equally, we'd solve, put an end to sexism, racism and so on. Until such time as we put down this PC shit and say it like it is, look at it, define it and then do what we can to improve it nothing will change. Instead we choose to look the other way. In actuality, we are all given the opportunity, choices to rise above. If you behave in a manner not befitting respect, you need to look at it. If we stop hiding shit behind being PC, call it what it is and stop hiding behind, "OMG, I am so offended by those words," and changing the subject, running from the actual situation using that platform, we might be able to see the real agenda, the real shit as it is. We need to stop the PC shit, call a spade a spade and show how a peoples can choose to pull themselves up. Instead, when something happens, a scenario unfolds where words are used in a disparaging manner, we look at those words instead of why we were/they were called that/it or the behavior. It makes perfect sense to me anyway and that's what matters. Men/Women must give each other equal respect, that's it, that's all. A man is no good w/o a good woman. A woman is no good w/o a good man. Yes, we have physical differences and strengths. One can not function w/o the other. Procreation knows about this, counts on it, why can't we see it? OK Mister, you want to be head of the household, act like it and respect your wife. Ladies, if you want things to roll right, respect your husband. There has to be a hierarchy, in Government, Politics and even in your home. But men, if you want your wife to respect you and follow this rule, you've gotta respect her and do your job, be that head. When and if you slack and don't do your job, remember a woman knows how to wear your hat, quite well because she wears so many more hats than you'll ever realize.
Remember this. R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

9. I LOVE TO HEAR:
Babies laughter, good music, all music from every genre. Most of all, I love to hear from my boys, my daughter and Grandkids. See, with all the shit I did and put my kids through, I'm just happy they have a forgiving heart. Success as a parent is not because your kid went on to become a Doctor, Lawyer, Bank President and so on. No, success as a parent is to raise children who are giving, forgiving, charitable and would kill and die for you. I taught them this myself and would die without flinching and kill without a second thought, if I had to. Yes, it is a child who has heart, doesn't look the other way, when they see a fallen brother or sister related or not. My kids are not successful in a worldly sense but they are good hearted people, the type who won't look down their noses at those less fortunate, in pain, addicted, lost, homeless, sick from HIV/Hep C, etc. They have a charitable spirit. That's true success!

10. I HATE TO HEAR:
An uneducated opinion;
Everybody has an opinion, it is our God given right and protected under the Constitution. But that doesn't mean you need to exert/exercise that right and give your opinion on everything under the sun. If you don't have an educated opinion on a subject matter, keep your fat farking mouth shut. Learn to bridle your tongue. OK, I know very little about politics thus I try not to make political statements. I know very little about structured religion, so, I try to shut my trap on the subject. I don't know it all and readily admit it. Does it not make me a better/bigger person because I can admit this?
Just because people in power say it's so, doesn't make it right or true for that matter. Just because you were taught a certain set of values and beliefs, doesn't make it right. Take the time, hold yourself accountable for your opinion by studying the subject. Admit when you don't know everything. Admit when you have been shallow. Admit when you are wrong(especially to your children). Ladies, stop with the idle chatter. If you want respect, stop spewing the bullshit about things you know nothing about. Men, if you don't understand something, be a man and admit it. What's the true definition of a man?

A Real Man knows that he needs a good woman and can't do it all. Yes, he treats her as his equal. He embraces their differences and actually enjoys them.
A Real Man is not afraid to admit when he's wrong, when he needs help, when something has hurt him. And he's not afraid to cry or show emotion.
A Real Man treats his wife with respect and does not have a sense of Entitlement. What is a "Sense of Entitlement"? This ideology comes from old school values and beliefs, mixed with new school expectations. Yes, you want to have the American Dream and to grasp it, to attain it and maintain it, you must have two incomes. It takes a lot of money to keep up with the Jones'. Yes, you want that SUV and your wife wants the Minivan. You must have that 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath with the Hot Tub out back. You must have the 52inch Flat Screen with surround sound, so when the fellas come over to watch Football and drink beer, they walk away with the idea that you've got it together, yep, you are one cool dude. So, your wife works, yes, she wants to work and have her own money, not having to ask you for money to buy all her stuff. Plus it makes her feel like she's more than just Mommy or the Mrs. But add it up, are the household chores, cooking, running kids to and from and generalities of what takes a home to run, fairly distributed? While I realize that you take out the trash, mow the lawn and so on, when it's done, you are often "Off Duty."
A Real Man is smart. He pleases his wife first, not through sexual intercourse but by other means, maybe using toys? He's not intimidated by toys either, as some men are because he realizes that many women can not attain orgasm through sexual intercourse but need direct stimulation of the clitoris. Yes, he's on top of the program and realizes it's to his benefit to have his mate orgasm first. Why? For two reasons;

a. He understands that if Mama's not happy, eventually nobody's happy. If sex is nothing more than just, "getting dirty to make you happy" it becomes just another job, another ritual.

b. A Real Man realizes it's to his benefit if she has an orgasm first because...it'll then be tighter. WooHoo!
Is this you? If not, "Hats Off to You." You are a Real Man!!!

And I am tagging:

Rants of a Brooklyn Bitch

Mini-Obs

Metal Shop

Kickin Tina

It would be a shame if this tampon taser gun were to go off at the wrong time. Like when inside of someone’s naughty place. The aptly named Pink Stinger, which sounds like a combination between a porno flick and a sea creature, is a way for woman to not only regulate their menstruation hygiene, but offers a method of self defense as well.

In its stun setting, you only need to make contact with your target via the 2 prods, for an effective toxic shock. Rendering the victim disoriented, degraded and embarrassed. When shooting in taser mode, 2 extra absorbent tampons with barbed probes and 12 ft. of wire are expelled and propelled by compressed nitrogen. The Pink Stinger deals a shocking 50,000 volts of electricity to the rude, male gentlemen in question. Exactly what we need. Woman with PMS wielding 50,000 volts of power in their hands. — Andrew Dobrow of Gearfuse

Dirty Bitch

Re-Post; In A Perfect World

2008-01-25T08:57:00.000-05:00

If you are a PCP (Politically Correct Person)this is not, I repeat NOT something you may want to read!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

In My Perfect World...

Babs For President

I've added some things to this, bear with me...

This cool mod chick, Paula of Light Motifs, has a post called Fat Friday. My own comment on it, caused me to write this post. *Note; the comment was on her old blog, Ultraviolet, since put out to pasture. Such a loss at that!

If it was a perfect world or even near or a facsimile of a perfect world, I would begin by passing legislation, concerning and/of the following;

As you all know, when I am elected President(Move Over Hillary)...

We will have, amongst other things, the legalization to;
"Taser Ignorant People."

If you can justify, that the said individual was negligent in nature, showed a lack of consideration, was stupid/mindless/ignorant/retarded/stoned immaculate, you will not be fined for the act of justified aggression. In addition, to deter the person who will/has filed charges/lodged a complaint against you , for the said accusation thereof, concerning a taser incident, said complainant shall be afforded a case evaluation. Mandates will read that the obligatory individual who has lodged the complaint will, if said allegation is unfounded, receive a fine/penalty, set within the Mandate Guidelines. Guidelines are set into practice, thus deterring people from involving the court system without merit. As well, there would be a stiff fine/penalty, if you did not pay attention in the, i.e., grocery store and held up traffic, just as you would receive a citation, on the causeway/roads for obstructing. There will be a Tazor Processing Court and sworn in Jury. It will be made up of, a consisting roster of Dirty Bitch Generals and held in the Virtual Court via Webcam.
You will be required to obtain and maintain, a license to breed/have children. You will and must pass an aggressive test. The test will be well rounded, fair and impartial/unbiased with Psychological, DNA and Environmental variables. If you are deemed immature, too obese (thus proving you in turn will no doubt pass on unhealthy eating habits), freakish,a drug addict, have no job, aspire to only be on welfare and it upsets you to spend cash on food cause you blew your Foodstamps for the trailer park picnic, etc., etc., you will not get a license. You'll have to study for the test and understand the proponents of good parenting. You will be made aware of the responsibility it is to be a good parent. Until such time, as you can prove or be found fit to become a parent, there will be forced Birth Control shots given to both male and female. Of course, Dirty Bitch Generals will administer the test. Tutoring is available.
It would be illegal for people to allow their dogs to continually bark and be left outside all fuckin day to have nothing better to do than bark. We will slap your pee pee with the same abandon, as you've shown for leaving your animals out in the cold, unattended, day after fucking day.
There would be an invention, you could strap on your dogs ass, that would catch the poop. People that allow their dogs to shit anywhere, will be made to walk through a shitroom, completely nude and of course; bare footed. Shit launchers will be installed in the room and you will be hit with a barrage of every kind of shit known to man. Cat shit, dog shit, cow shit, human shit...
All Television stations will not be permitted to show the same commercial within a 6 hour time frame. Commercials that loudly repeat and repeat, the same catch phrase, will not be tolerated.There will be no more Ring tone commercials.
It will be illegal for you, inconsiderate bastards, to talk loudly on your cell phone. Like I could give a flying fuck that your mans was out all nite with his homies. If the call can not be deemed as pertinent business or an emergency, you can and will be tasered.
It will be illegal for fast food workers to be anything but courteous. They will not be permitted to talk to each other during their on time, in the galley, behind the counter, except to process an order and in the consummation of that order. It will be perfectly legal to taser these workers, if they are fraternizing instead of working.
Under stringent supervision, Drugs will be legalized and controlled by the Government. This will clear out the prisons, for one, as most prisons are filled with drug dealers or those with drug charges. Now, these punk ass wannabe hard ass drug dealers will have to get a job or starve. Crystal Meth and Crack Cocaine users will have to move to the new "Drug Enclosure" in Arizona, in the Sonora Desert. A high, unclimbable wall will be built, for safety reasons. This will be, so you can wander aimlessly, become delusional and paranoid, thinking the cops are coming any minute or there are bugs crawling on your skin. The government will provide for your addiction, as long as you stay within the confines of the Powder City. Yes, you may stay there until you get sick of it and finally wake up.
A similar occupancy will be made for the Pill Heads and Heroin Addicts. There will be flame retardant couches so when they nod, lit cigarette in hand, they won't burn everybody to death."Nodding Knowles," will have state of the art security cameras everywhere and you will be made to watch as you've made an ass out of yourself. These will be installed in all Drug Cities. Once a week, you will be made to watch your tapes.I was a heroin addict/pill hound so don't think I'm throwing stones, ya heard?
One of the most important Bills to be passed will be that liquor/wine/beer will be illegal except under strict Government guidelines. If you show cause, signs of alcoholism, you want to drink like a fish, you must move to Alcohol Acres. Yes, you may drink yourself into a stupor, fall down, puke on yourself or others, fight, pick up nasty chicks, hook up with toothless guys, have unprotected sex and act completely retarded, you can screw till your blue but you won't have access to a car. No more thinking you're ok to drive only to drive drunk and kill a whole family. Yes, you will be spared losing your family because you've gone to prison for Vehicular Homicide. You'll be spared the pain and agony of having to sign over your children to an adoption agency. Yep, it's the law, if you don't have family to take custody of your children and you have a long sentence, you will be forced to give up your children within the first year of your incarceration. (How do you know about this Babz? Well, let me tell you...I facilitated Drug Treatment Meetings within the confines of Prison.I heard the stories, I saw the tears of mothers who's children were taken because they killed somebody, drinkin-n-drivin. They all stated they thought they were fine to drive)And you can bet that at Alcohol Acres, you'll be forced to watch the security tapes of you making a complete ass out of yourself. As well, before you can ever leave, just as with all drug cities, you'll be made to go through at least 6 months of rehab with the emphasis on Behavioral Modification. You'll have to look at accident photos and footage of people who were killed by drunk drivers. During that time, in rehab, it will be made very clear to you that alcohol is a drug too and you are no better or worse than any other junkie/junky. Please read that last sentence again...
Child molesters and rapists will also be banned to a similar city (Ream Rock Penal Colony)where they can molest and rape each other till they die or kill each other off. Upon arrival to Ream City, the perv/perpetrator will be sexually molested/raped and degraded, beat and assaulted within an inch of their life, by a big big man, named "Bubba the Bitch Maker Ass Taker." Welcome Kits will consist of a "Suture your own torn asshole set" cause yes, we're kind and considerate, even if you don't deserve kindness and consideration.
Whoops don't drop the soap boys... Crooked politicians and government officials will be placed with the rapists and molesters. I think this might deter, those evil, on the sly worms, take advantage of your power and authority sons a bitches, more so, than a harsh prison sentence, which they rarely get anyway, huh? Bastards! "Dirty Cops, it's our pleasure to welcome you to Ream Rock."
I could go on and on but I won't, you get the drift...

Dirty Bitch

Son To Mother Conversation

2008-01-19T10:12:00.000-05:00

"Dammit Mom, it was bad, I was stuck in the bathroom. I was gonna be late for my Physical. I knew he was gonna check my Prostate. I mean really Mom, is there absolutely anything worse than...

Mud Butt?"

-Moore Brother

Confession Time...

2008-01-18T05:31:00.001-05:00

Spitting; I must admit, it's not very ladylike but I never really was.

My last beau, Chris, was a spitter but he also chewed Skoal, a trait I said I'd never accept from a guy. But love is bigger than a can of Skoal and I over looked it. I suppose the fact that he was built like a bull, in all ways, young(35), virile and I was feeling rather old, at 46, also stood to sway me?

I left him in November of 2005, moving from Pittsburgh, you know, for what I thought were better days, better ways, better lays. Well, not the last part but the man lost it right after I left, a blow he would never recover from. This was a man who'd wanted to marry me, had purchased a ring and was going to surprise me. My surprise of, "Hey, I'm moving 375 miles away to help my Sister," negated his surprise. It was a sad day, one of my hardest, as I pulled away in the moving truck, he helped load. He killed himself, this past March.

Not long after, I began spitting, whenever I smoked, outside, out back, by myself. I hadn't really given it a thought, until recently. No, I don't think it's a very nice habit, for starters and I'd even broke my beau of spitting on the sidewalk, as we walked hand in hand.

During my recent visit, from my oldest son, Lee, we'd been out back smoking and I spit, not even thinking (I'm alone most of the time, out back when I smoke). With a tone of sarcastic amusement, Lee says, "Oh, that's really HOT.Why ya gotta spit on the steps?" I promised I wouldn't anymore. I guess it's pretty nasty when your own son has to correct your behavior, which is not the first time and probably won't be the last. Later in the day, he called me a "Hot Mess," too.

I woke this morn at 4:30am and went out back to smoke and spit. Why I do it, I don't know except I don't like to swallow the smoky saliva. Yes, smoking's one of my last great vices, well, that and Popcorn covered in butter and salt. No, I don't spit in public but dammit, I'm gonna spit in Chris's honor.
Redneck Terms of Endearment, right???

Wanna Know Why...Dirty Bitch???

2008-01-17T09:47:00.001-05:00

Wanna know why, I wear the name, "Dirty Bitch," and wear it well??? Rather, where it evolves from, for me???

This explains a lot and is a teaser from my upcoming book. No, it's not safe for work, well the Podcast isn't.

Click Here for a rather poignant post.

Awards Part One...

2008-01-13T13:49:00.001-05:00

This honorable and prestigious Award is given to...

Xmichra

The Junky's Wife

The Gay Gate

Ophelia

Steve

Wacky Mom

Kickin Tina

And especially...

Maryannaville

Honorable Mention...

Soulseer

Awards Part Deux

2008-01-13T13:34:00.000-05:00

This limited and prestigious Award is given to...

Old Knudsen

Archer

Skillz

Marky

Cunt Face Social Club

Dr. Dick's Sex Advice

Blog-Blond

Honorable Mention

xStevex

NFL Predictions

2008-01-12T14:25:00.001-05:00

I'm not in the business of predicting Football. However, I have, well, we'll call them "acquaintances" who are. I happen to be privy to some serious numbers. Read 'em and do with them, what you will.

Let me say this, friends, "I ain't bad but the bad, still send me Christmas Cards," ok? Get it?

New England-Jacksonville; Patriots are set to take it by 12

Green Bay-Seattle; Packers are set to take it by 8

Dallas-NY Giants; Cowboys are set to take it by 7 1/2
(It's predicted there will be an upset by Giants)

San Diego-Indianapolis; Colts are set to take it by 8 1/2
(It's predicted there will be an upset by Chargers)

(Feds; These predictions are for entertainment value/use only. I was just kidding about knowing Bookies. This website is for entertainment purposes only, too!)

Hey Lee...Let's Go to the Insane Asylum

2008-01-12T12:43:00.000-05:00

I stole this from Babz Bitchin.
King's Park Building 93
According to Wikipedia...

The Kings Park Psychiatric Center is a former state-run psychiatric hospital located in Kings Park, New York. It operated from 1885 until 1996, when the State of New York closed the facility down, either releasing its few remaining patients or transferring them to the still-operational Pilgrim Psychiatric Center.

The Last Two Weeks...

My oldest son, Lee was just here, for a much needed visit. He lives in DuBois, Pa., so I don't get to see him very often. Lee is my very best friend and I can't put into words how much I enjoyed his visit.

We are such bums that we basically did nothing, that entire two weeks. I wanted to drive him the 2 miles to Long Island Sound but both days when we could have gone and planned to go, it was 20 degrees out with a wind chill of 5. Oh hell no, last time I tried similar, my nipples fell off and I had a really hard time finding them. So what the hell did we do for two weeks?

Well, I pretty much drank every nite. Egg Nog with Black Velvet, B52's, Bailey's and Makers Mark, Vodka and Iced Tea (my usual), Jack-n-Ginger, Vodka and 7-Up, Black Coke-n-BV(very tasty), well, I'm lucky I can remember anything. But we did have a good time, especially late @nite. You will not believe what we did...several nites in a row, we got shit faced and listened or rather watched and listened to 80's Hair Bands on YouTube. I think I gave myself Whiplash again...

We listened to all of them, the likes of Cinderella, Whitesnake, Motley Crue,(this is a good Motley Crue vid from Moscow Peace Festival; Part One, Part Two) Too numerous to mention every noteworthy band, we were jamming.

I took Lee to his first concert, Judas Priest/Dokken at 8 years old. We go way back, Lee and I thus his love for music and just as he did years ago, he can still run sound and lights for the band.

If you see recent footage of Motley Crue, you can't help but notice that Mick Mars, is painfully sick, appearing very stiff. At one point he was down to 112lbs according to this interview in Blabbermouth. He suffers from the debilitating disease,
Ankylosing Spondylitis.

Anywho, so right up the road from me is a haunted Insane Asylum. I'd driven past, by or around it but never stopped before. Lee and I decided to take pictures. This place looks like it should be haunted and used in a Scary Movie.
**I guess it was...

My Grandson, Brady Lee, came to visit, as well. He's pictured here with one of his Christmas presents(the bandanna). With great protest, he stayed behind, while we decided to get adventurous.

I wanted to get closer, so I go up this service road...(Yes, that's my fat ass behind my car)

We toolied around and wanted to get even closer, to the buildings, somehow. I turned around, very carefully and it wasn't easy as the road was so narrow. We were coming back and pulled over to take one pic and here comes the cops, right across the grass. (That's me pointing, snitching on Lee, "He told me to drive up here!")

Apparently, uh...duh, I was driving on a bike path, not a service road. I told the cop I was blond in another life and he understood.(The Cop is now telling my dumbass which way to go. Am I having a Spaz Attack?)))))

So, I played the part of a Japanese Tourist, acted really stupid, which by the way, is an easy role for me and the cop told us how to get to this Boulevard, to get better pictures. We drove on the other side of the buildings, the front of them, on the boulevard. It was a two lane road with a huge median strip in the middle. I pulled over and told Lee to go up, on the hill, so as to get both buildings in the pic. No sooner had he snapped the picture when I saw Police lights coming, hauling ass. He was coming from the road to the right, shown in the picture. This cop, a different cop than the first one, whipped up the street, coming head on, towards me. Now, I am an OG, with a post criminal mind and of course, I just knew I'd done something wrong and was picking my brain."Fuck, do I have anything on me?"

Lee saw him and started walking down the hill. "What are you doing? What are you doing? Get down here, " the cop says, real heated. The cop was majorly pissed. Lee told him he was taking pictures and the cop says, over and over, "No you're not. Give me that camera." At this point I jump outa the car and I can see the other cop speeding towards us. "Oh shit," I'm thinking. "Let me see that camera, whatcha doin up there?," Barney Fife on crack says. Lee told him he'd gone up the hill to get a pic of both buildings. At this point, Lee's standing next to the cop and the cop is telling him he can't take pictures of clients.(Good thing he deleted those stripper pics from the Gay Blade, huh?) "Let me see the pictures," says the cop all shitty. So, Lee shows him every pic on his camera. The cop is saying, "OK, you don't have to delete that one," over and over cause no, we'd not been taking pics of tards, just old buildings.

The cop warned us not to take any pics of one certain building, which is exactly on the hill Lee was on. I'd not realized that that building was the same building, located at the back as I'd driven by, a hundred times. I'd seen the front, which is right on Main Street, on my way to work. "We have to protect our clients, you understand, right?" Of course, we understand and promised never to jack off while taking pics of his clients, well I made that part up but we made it clear we weren't doing anything but taking pics of the buildings. I'd be willing to bet and you had to be there, that this was the biggest and baddest scenario this cop had had in 2 years. He probably had a big hard on, as he raced his cruiser towards us

Oh and Lee's pants were falling down, even as he was taking the picture. He almost lost them as he came down the hill. Maybe the cop thought he was up there, faddy in hand, jacking off to the clients/tards??? You know how us serial sexual predators are, we like a trophy/pic from our victim. You know, something to remember them by? King's Park Building 93 Left
King's Park Building 93 Right

**Trivia

The 1995 movie Eyes Beyond Seeing, by director Daniel Robert Cohn, was filmed in KPPC's Building 136/137 (old medical/surgical unit) shortly after the building was closed down. The film also contains exterior shots of the famous Building 93 (The 13 story tall Geriatric/Ambulatory building), in an attempt to convince viewers that the interior shots were done inside 93.

The film stars Keith Hamilton Cobb as a mental patient claiming to be Jesus Christ, and also features a cameo by Henny Youngman, in his final movie appearance before his death, as a mental patient claiming to be Henny Youngman.

Jew Chicken

2008-01-11T11:45:00.000-05:00

Certain personal friends of mine, blogger friends, good friends, who live near NYC, play a ritual game, called Jew Chicken. When I first heard this, I heathenishly laughed. I may go to hell for it.

These friends, run into Hasidic Jews, day in and day out. And it's a well known fact that, for the men, only his wife is to touch him. So what do they do? They go around, when confronted by them, acting as if they accidentally touched them. You know, they will touch them, bump them, as if it were an accident. Drives 'em nuts. They keep score.

Damn it's getting hot in here...

Oh Really???

2008-01-07T08:38:00.001-05:00

Ever had that feeling, similar to the scene from the "Shining," where he says, "Here's Johnny?"

Journal Entry

2007-12-23T06:54:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

***Mental notation: Very Bi-Polar Day. Recorded on December 23, 2007. Self diagnosis.
***Further note: Self medication required. May need further Shock Treatment

City Slicker Christmas 2005

2007-12-23T06:40:00.000-05:00

This is a re-post from Bitchin & Stuff, from 2 Christmas' ago. It is also an unedited to "save and spare the masses" version.
We are not venturing to Wootten's Mountain this year...

My sister Traci and I drove to Virginia for Christmas. We went to the home of my brother, Mike who is a Spotsylvania County Deputy Sheriff in Virginia. My brother has a small managerie of animals on his 20+ acres of land.With 3 horses, a bull, cow, 2 goats and a lamb, they have the makings of a small farm. They also have 5 dogs, one is pregnant and due any day and a cat. So, here we are a couple of city slickers on this mini dude ranch. The very first night I was outside smoking cause they don't smoke. You know they're those, well, what do they call them...oh, I think it's called healthy, outdoorsy types. Anyway, I go outside to smoke and then I walk down the driveway to butt my cigarette and throw it into a burn barrel with the 2 goats and lamb in tow, I thought," well isn't this cute, they're following me." As I turn to walk back, I know they're behind me and then all of a sudden I get butted from behind, I flew forward, from this big frigin' sheep, lamb, whatever the hell you call it. It wasn't so cute to me at this point. It really caught me off guard and I had visions of killer goats and sheep mauling me to death. So, I'm walking faster and he butts me again right in front of a mud puddle and all I can do is envision going face first with the next butte. Am I gonna have to fight this fuckin' thing or what? I almost ran up the stairs, after the third and final blow and into the house, my brush with death has my adrenaline flowing. But I don't let on that it's got me riled up cause then I'm one of those, "City Slickers," they laugh about. Christmas morning my lil' Sister and I go out to have a cigarette and we look over and the bull is trying to mount the horse and we both hear,"Deliverance," music in our heads. She says, "Oh great, that'll go on my top 10 list of things I didn't need to see on Christmas morn." Now, first of all she's never seen a bull penis so she's pretty shook up. Of course, being her older sister I have to act like I've seen one before and comment that I've seen bigger. My Lil' Sis, well you'd have to know her. She's had a sheltered upbringing. She makes this look like she's going to throw up any minute and says, "that's makes me gag!" Without missing a beat, I told her, "Well, don't put it in your mouth." She's actually gagging now and runs in the house. Oh shit, is she gonna tell Mom. At 46 years old, my Mama could probably kick my ass, she's hardcore Marine, "D.I."
We were at my brothers' house for 4 days and I never trusted that damn lamb and would not allow him to get behind me. Now, "Buddy," the goat, who is also a fainting goat,(they think he came from a circus), comes up on the porch and is trying to eat my clothes off. Before we get to my brother's house he calls and tells us,"do not leave your car doors open because Buddy will try to get in the car." As we went to leave, we made sure to close the car doors after loading the car but we were then loading the truck with luggage. I walked away for a second and turn around and the goat is in the trunk. He's digging through the Christmas bags and must smell something cause he's rooting. I'm thinking,"Oh shit, how do I get this frigin' thing outa my sisters new Volvo ?" Well, it wasn't easy to wrangle this huge goat with horns and a projectile bean poop shooter but I prevailed. I know I was worried there'd be retribution and I'd be mauled by the killer goats but I stood my ground unflinchingly. I cannot believe I was actually a bit scared. I've stood up to the hardest of society, done 3 1/2 years in prison with murderers and basically combative people and was not afraid but this stupid goat has me thinking I should have a big bowie knife on me. My son, Waylon left from there the day before to go back to S.C. and had the car all packed and was checking the oil before leaving. He was about to leave when I noticed something furry and yellow amongst his stuff in the back seat. Turns out the cat had burrowed in and was trying to hitch a ride outa there. Busted trying to escape the work farm! All in all it was a good time but it taught me to write my will before we go back next Christmas

My Resolution

2007-12-13T08:20:00.001-05:00

I've been through hell as of late, my ass is certainly scorched, the hair singed off, as I skirted the gates of hell.

The Winds of Change are blowing and I look forward to the New Year. I'm standing up, not dancing as fast as I did but a bit more optimistic. While some say the glass is half full, others will say the glass is half empty. I will just be grateful for the water.

I've never been one for New Years Resolutions but this year, mine is to be a little less negative, a little more assertive and I'm done playing the Saint Barbara/Martyr role. That doesn't mean I will begin a daily regimen of negativity. No, it means I will begin an exercise of self preservation. I will seek out that which makes me laugh, those that love me unconditionally and a no holes barred approach, to a few important things/situations/scenarios. The biggest or most important of those things is, I will become the Matriarch of my family again. This New Year, I will have a goal to get back to a place, where "MY" family is there for holidays, I will cook that Turkey myself and have my children and grandchildren by my side.

Happy Holidays

What's your Resolution???

2007-11-23T17:24:00.000-05:00

Closed

Nasty Nails

2007-11-12T08:02:00.001-05:00

I hope this was done as a joke cause damn that's just too fugly for words. But I've seen chicks with long toenails. They go and get a French manicure with these white tips and they think they're all sexy and shit. That's a hot mes, if you ask me. Yuk!

R. Kelly/Real Talk

2007-11-06T15:58:00.000-05:00

I was out and about, the other day and swung by Cunt Face Social Club. I ended up there again today and was reminded about this R.Kelly video. It's down-n-dirty and you won't believe it! I just had to share what I stole fair and square...

Wanna See My Tat???

2007-11-06T12:44:00.000-05:00

He just knew his tattoo was the fucking coolest. Then, that fateful day, when he was sentenced to Prison and the coolness turned to...

A Message from Your Sponsor...

2007-11-05T07:37:00.001-05:00

Click the Pic to Enlarge

Babz at the Beach

2007-10-27T09:57:00.001-04:00

I finally uploaded some pictures and here's one from my Beach Trip. I just loved the innovation of those chairs. I pay homage to whomever it was that invented these comfy form fitters. I had such a good time and look forward to next year.

'Spression

2007-10-25T08:13:00.001-04:00

LAST CHILD SUPPORT CHECK!!!

Today be my baby girl 18th birthday.
I be so glad that dis be my last child support payment!
Month after month, year after year, all dose payments!

So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to come to my house,
and when she get here, I say, "Baby girl,
I want you to take dis check over to yo momma house
and tell her dis be the last check she ever be gettin' from me,
and I want you to come back and tell me the 'spression on yo mama face."

So, my baby girl take the check over to her momma.
I be anxious to hear what she say, and bout the 'spression on her face.

Baby girl walk through the door, I say,
"Now what yo momma say 'bout that?"

She say to tell you that "you ain't my daddy" ...
and watch the 'spression on yo face"!!!

(I know, that was pretty lame, huh?)

What's On Your Menu

2007-10-24T09:04:00.000-04:00

I was over at Tony's blog. He'd written a post and then offered for us to ask him a question. I will ask you the same question, I asked Tony;

You will be executed at 12 Midnite.

What will be your last meal???

(Wanna read about Last Meals???
Click the Pic)

Layin' Eggs???

2007-10-22T07:54:00.000-04:00

I came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside my sleeping husband, and fell into a deep slumber.
I awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Babz."
I was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much
to live for. Too much shit to do. Send me back!
St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go
back, and that is as a chicken."
I was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send me to a farm near my home.
The next thing I knew, I was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strutted past. "Hey baby! So, you're the new hen, huh?
How's your first day here?"
"Not bad," I replied, "but I have this strange feeling
inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster.
"Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
"Never," I admitted, rather embarrassed.
"Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no
biggie."
I did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
I was overcome with emotion as I experienced motherhood, hen style. I soon laid another egg -- I actually thought it was kinda cool and easier than giving birth to a real baby.
As I was about to lay my third egg, I felt a smack, right across the fuckin face, and heard my husband shout.....

"Dammit, Babz! Wake up. Why are ya shittin in the bed?"

Go Away Ann

2007-10-22T07:06:00.001-04:00

There's very little Political jargon in me. I come from a long line of political people and maybe this is why I've steered so far left? Then again, it could also be frustration and a feeling of being up against the man, you Redneck mothur, that's keeps me in my place. Yea, I'm at a clear disadvantage, at any political party. But I do recognize an asshole, when I see one. Ann Coulter needs her ass kicked in, plain and simple. Nope, I don't like the Sperm Burper and if she comes in my hood, she'll leave with a different attitude. I can wish, right?

Click the pic to enlarge

Big Vaginas

2007-10-18T19:05:00.000-04:00

I crept in and stole this fair and square from Marky @ 3rd Midlife Crisis. Cool blog, check him out. But this was way too funny, not to share with you guys!

So, Ya Want PC, Huh???

2007-10-16T16:38:00.001-04:00

(Thanks Fayebee!!)

Glasses???

2007-10-14T08:02:00.000-04:00

Yes, Homicidal Tendencies

2007-10-13T14:43:00.000-04:00

It makes me Homicidal. Yes, every time I hear "Hey There Delila" or that frigin song "Chasing Cars" I want to stump fuck somebody and beat them around the head and neck. I actually have to get up and turn the station. What's wrong with these lame ass motherfuckers? What's even worse are the lame ass motherfuckers who listen to it, enough to keep it in rotation. You should all have your pee pee's slapped off.

Oh and here's an ode for you to kiss my ass, you fucktards 4 Non Blonde's and your song, "What's Goin' On." I always though that you sounded like Lesbians on Anti-Freeze, whatever the fuck that means?

Happy Birthday Bill

2007-10-12T18:48:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday Bill aka Pimp Daddy Wang."
(My middle son)

My Life On The "F" List

2007-10-10T07:19:00.001-04:00

"F" clearly stands for, "Fucked."

So, I wear these Lidoderm Pain Patches. No, you don't get high on 'em ya goofy bastard. On my vacation, I took a butt load of them with me and my oldest son, Lee and I sat around with these pain patches on, as he has neck problems too. On any given day, you will see me with these dumbass things, stuck all over me. But my Son-in-Law, thought they were like Morphine Patches or something and my son and I were sitting around getting buzzed up.

So, yesterday, I had one of my famous lidoderm patches on my neck. I was out back, on the phone, smoking, talking with my middle son, Bill. Like some fuckin Kamikaze, I was first struck in the head by something, a large bug, I knew that much. Next thing ya know, I feel all this wiggling and squirming on my neck. Holy fuck, it was stuck to my pain patch on a spot that had come undone.

Now what? Bill is steady talking, as this whole thing goes on and I kindly tell him to hold on and he keeps talking, "Hold on," I said again, this time more assertively. I'm flipping the fuck out inside. He won't stop talking and last I knew, I'm growling "Fucking hold on, Jesus!" and I threw the phone. This thing is violently flailing about at my neck. Now, the approach? I ripped the patch off my neck, of course taking all the hair with it and all the courage I could muster. Oh fuck! It was a grasshopper. That bastard! This would only happen to me, only me!

Butt Butter Gravy

2007-10-10T06:59:00.000-04:00

Yea, it was a rough nite on the range. Don't ask me why but I couldn't sleep, which is a rarity for me. I was up, countless times and finally said fuck it, turned on the computer and snuck around your blogs, like a theif in the night. I ate a Hebrew National hot dog with horseradish mustard and believe it or not, I was craving a Fluffernutter, (if you're real bored, you can read about it here) and made one that is probably illegal, oozing everywhere.

I finally fell out around 3:30am and woke at 5:45am laughing my ass off, (wish that were possible). I dreamt that I was retarded (Hey, I heard that!) and would sit and rock back and forth, to and fro. I was compelled to say, "Gravy," in my best Forest Gump inflection. Then, I would whisper, over and over, "Butt Butter." What the fuck is wrong with me? I'd say I'm losing it but...I never had it to begin with!

Oh, I almost forgot the best part. I jumped up and smacked my Sister's boyfriend, right across the chops with a whiffle bat. I can still hear it SMACK! Oh fuck, ya had to be there!

Danny Boneduce Slams Johnny Fairchild

2007-10-05T20:49:00.000-04:00

I think good ol Danny Partridge might've hurt his feelings, huh?

Then go here to watch the aftermath interview with Fairchild. Click Here

Robin Williams; The Real Master Plan

2007-10-05T09:13:00.000-04:00

If you've read this already, disregard but for those of you, that have not, this is a must read...

Fantastic--- Read it all the way thru-- You will muse- then smile and shake

your head yes. You will love it-- He has my vote for President...

THE PLAN!!

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says 'I love New York' in Arabic.

You gotta love Robin Williams....

Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect

plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this

message.

Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with his logic!)

'I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for

peace. So, here's one plan.'

1) The US will apologize to the world for our 'interference' in their

affairs, past and present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo,

Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys'. We will

never 'interfere' again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with

Germany, South Korea, the Middle East , and the Philippines . They don't

want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed

sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and

leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder

will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or

where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90

days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation

will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and

don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need

any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign 'students' over age 21. The older ones are the bombers.

If they don't attend classes, they get a 'D' and it's back home, baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise.

This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require

a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have

to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for

their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go

somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling

up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we

will not 'interfere.' They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds,

rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them

is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little,

if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't

need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building

would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one

can call us, 'Ugly Americans' any longer. The Language we speak is

ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

'The Statue of

Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled

masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of

me?' '

Speaking of Tazors...

2007-10-05T07:27:00.000-04:00

It's all the rage kids. Getting tazed in a public place, in front of God and everybody, well, that's just a good time, huh? Every single time, I've seen, as of late, somebody getting tazed by police, it has appeared as a clear abuse of power. I mean, you're all messed up from it but they expect you to comply when you can't even move. It's Bullshit. Not amusing, huh? Well, maybe a little...

Sometimes, I can't wait for them to taser the mofo, right? How do you spell tazer? taser?

This is from 2006?

Man With Tail

2007-10-04T08:17:00.000-04:00

I ain't touchin' it! Eeeeeeeeew!

This guy really has a tail!

Student Tazed Remix

2007-10-03T06:51:00.000-04:00

It pissed me off, when they tazed this guy but I'm sorry but this is just to 2 legit 2 quit, fuckin funny!

Give Me...

2007-10-01T06:53:00.000-04:00

Give me a caption, in the comment box, to this picture, please with sugar on top.

There's a bunch more, some are really cool too! Go Here